Did he also buy Bill Kennedy a huge diamond ring?

I hate people with no-shoe houses. What, is your carpet made of silk hand-woven by Chinese orphans?

The more they tighten their grip, the more reporters will slip through their fingers...

Haha, I immediately screamed, “KILL IT AND GRIND IT INTO POWDER!” when I saw the headline.

I thought it was called Machete order because you use a machete to hack Episode 1 to pieces.

They should have never done it in the first place. Jabba the Hutt is a criminal mafia don. He would never allow the disrespect that Solo showed by stepping on his tale. Solo would have been killed on the spot.

Patton’s response is all I needed to see.

All the Star Wars movies have problems. They’re also all very entertaining overall.

I disagree. The prequels had their problems, but I still like them overall. I don’t want to strike them from existence like a lot of people.

It’s important to note that the Commissioner has no say on whether or not he’s in the HOF. The Hall is neither owned nor operated by MLB, they have simply chosen to exclude anyone who is banned from MLB. Your beef is with the HOF, not the commissioner.

There is literally a scene in the first film were a British general gets told that the Americans have contacted with an attack plan and his initial reaction is “Well it’s about goddamned time”. Pretending these films aren’t about America kicking ass is just silly.

Traitorous Colonials Day 2: This Time, It’s Imperial.

If we were to present you with a photo line-up of potential suspects, do you think you would be able to identify the bad man that peed in your Cheerios this morning, or did you not get a good enough look at him?

The joke is funnier when it’s about Mississippi.

If I knew so many people would have their feelings hurt by the joke, I still would have made it because people who get this angry over a generally gentle poke in a comment section deserve nothing good in this world.

Is it easy to make fun Mississippi?
Yes.

Relax, Robert. You’re not a Brown yet.

It’s Mississippi, they may have miscounted what floor he was on.

It isn’t January yet, so expecting a Bengals win.

“You guys keep calling this a beef, but I dunno... I just don’t see it.”

— these ladies

Why is this so important to Kelly?