It’s what you call a yo yo without the string.

I’ve taken to calling the day after Thanksgiving Orange Friday, a day to sit around the house in sweatpants eating pumpkin pie and drinking the rest of the pumpkin ale until we finish it or become comatose trying.

it’s an effective form of synechdoche. The celebrity actress, with her exaggerated details — fame, glamour, dollar amounts — stands in for all women who are struggling against wage inequality. She gets attention for an issue that regular women would have to work hard, with a lot of other people, to get. Interestingly,…

Aunts, uncles and healthy grandparents for the kids are a great resource. Also, during one golden period, we lived in apartment building for professors and administrators of a university, with a baby-sitting co-op. Having a grown-up with children the same age as yours watch your kids is sweet.

Know what some Christians object to? Celebrating Christmas before Christmas Eve. The period preceding Christmas is Advent, and even THAT hasn’t started yet. I would love to not see Christmas decorations or hear Christmas songs until December 20 at the earliest, and if I never hear Lennon’s “They Say This Is Christmas”…

But what if she has a look of concentration on her face, planning tomorrow morning’s breakfast of bacon, sausage, scrapple and ham — okay to look or not?

There’s a math problem fail here. They (supposedly) tithe 10% of everything they make, not 10% of what they paid for the Sunday pancake breakfast.

Snake Person, you’ve sunk your fangs into the flaw and now there’s hardly anything to add, except that these were polls of Republicans. It doesn’t seem as though you can tell a big enough whopper about Planned Parenthood to hurt yourself in those polls. But the stories about Fiorina’s business history — those may be…

There’s a local fair that still features a “bonniest knee” contest. The judges are blindfolded and judge by feel alone. The contestants are men in kilts. The judges are women.

It’s like Karl never read past Combray. In the course of the volumes, the narrator (not the son of a concierge) penetrates ring after ring of society, he stalks Madame Guermantes, a key member, and then, with the help of her military nephew... he’s all the way in. Not unlike a fashion designer who becomes the darling…

Rush must have seen the draft follow-up report: Mars used to have oceans but they evaporated due to global warming caused by flying car traffic jams and energy-wasting alarm clocks shaped like giant toasters that popped the Martians out of bed.

I went to a Catholic grade school. An elderly nun (Sister Camillus, I think) taught us spelling. The standard homework assignment was to write out ten spelling words ten times each. She gave us sheets of paper to do the assignment on. We couldn’t use bigger paper. We couldn’t use two sheets. And we always ran out of…

Classic test-taking 101. If it’s an exam question you can explain how you would make the dispassionate decision that the young woman has many more years to lead a productive life and so on. Or you can write about how Confucian principles lead you to choose filial devotion. But if it’s multiple-choice (actually,…

I noticed that one of the diseases that the vaccine shown in the illustration protects against is Rubella, and that reminded me that for a terrible period before our son was born, we thought he might be a Rubella baby. We learned about all of the sad things that can result: mental and physical disability, small size,…

Greeting.

You should visit New York someday. It's changed from the days of Escape from New York.

A pantsuit can crush PATRIOTS.

"There was a fokker to the left of me and another fokker to the right."

I'm glad I didn't have to be the one to explain Immaculate Conception. There was a woman dressed as a nun in lower Manhattan who went around with a wooden bowl begging for St. Joseph's Orphanage. One day I asked her to explain Immaculate Conception to me. She started talking about the Virgin Birth and I told her she…

Just to make the instructions clearer, and to fix the case where there are zero red hats in front of #100, he or she should say the color of the hat of which he or she sees an odd number.