I can't decide if I like ESPN's new score graphic thing.

• RUNNING IN APT AND HIT PENIS ON A CHAIR

The pertinent part of rule 10.2 says that knob's got to be white.

I would've expected him to seek out a position at Foot Locker.

It's a shame he worked on his calves so much in the off season getting that vertical up to 4 inches. Not such a good idea now, eh?

Cowen's eye-fist coordination wasn't exactly world class either.

I was going to make a joke about them going after Marc Trestman, but I started thinking and I could absolutely see them doing that.

Upon learning that he didn't win 2014 Deadspin Bear of the Year, Jay Cutler passively shrugged it off, saying he was "shocked" but "understands".

Off to the Goo Factory.

5.5 projected wins for the Jags? What?

"Nah, I can do it on my own," he said. "I'm passed those days where I have to ask."

Yeah, because star players always take the fall before a coach gets fired.

Being the kicker I would've thought he'd be thrilled to get his dick touched.

If he's a fit anywhere, it's the Titans. They still need a QB, and if anywhere knows how to love Cousins, it's Tennessee.

Rex Ryan: (J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS out of town anonymously.)

Is Jezebel going to share this post soon?

Looks like something from Iceland is at stake.

I agree. As long as the dude was actually in Arizona and not just bullshitting to get out of it.

No. The alleged "Snottie Drippen" claims he was in AZ for Christmas after the guy wanted to fight.