Priyanka is such a gorgeous woman - but that picture and that stupid trench coat dress are not doing her any favors.  Nice to know that even the most beautiful among us can also look like crap in photos.

Priyanka and Nick remind me of Cece and Schmidt on New Girl. 

I saw that photo on tumblr earlier today and there was nothing mentioned in the tags as to who they were and the caption just said “This is what they look like together.” and I was like “Who the fuck are these people?!?!”

My brain went, “Ed Harris?” and took way too long to correct

“Instead, he will have to scrape by on health insurance coverage that his own party is trying to decimate.”

Demi Moore and Ed Helms 

Um that Maria Sharapova pic seems a little fucked up. I think you should take it down unless she consented to having TMZ publish it. 

Months went by without me thinking about Gwyneth Paltrow and Goop.

ehhhh, they’re docked points for not referring to it correctly as buddy christ

As someone who spent the better part of the early 90s with a horrendous heroin addiction (lost our family, friends, and spent couple years living on the LA streets until we got our lives together- thanks to the magic of a pregnant street cat who gave us 6 lives to live for), I am sending this young lady all my love…

NEVER EVER THREATEN MASCARA AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. WE THIRTY-FOUR YEAR OLD MOMS ARE NOT ONES WITH THE MONEY OR TIME FOR EXPENSIVE LASH TREATMENTS. BE CAUTIOUS!

The good news is that Sarah’s now qualified for so many other jobs that require a straight face, like...

There’s only one acceptable replacement for Sanders: The statue of Buddy Jesus.

Cheated. Sabotaged his sobriety. Emotionally abused him. Cost him work. Mocked Michael Jackson. Gave him a marriage ultimatum. Led him on about getting married. Joined a competing satirical Velvet Underground tribute bound and sniped all the potential Pizza Underground mitzvah and wedding jobs. Greeted him only by…

“I was writing about this show and doing research at the same time. We go on Tinder and probably swiped on everybody in Los Angeles. We were not even looking, just swiping. I had 252 matches that night, and 400 the next day. So I was going through them all, and one of them had a really cute message. And I said, ‘Oh,…

I thought the exact same thing!

Your Dunkaroos slogan is giving me creepy Silence of the Lambs vibes.

But then on Sunday, G-Eazy Instagrammed a photo of himself performing live at some concert and captioned it “Big Dick Energy,”

Also notice what appears to be casual antisemitism there.

“...nabbing him at his parents’ home where he lives in the basement.”