On this episode of Punk’d: I found a bunch of my ex’s credit cards and gave them to my buddy Matt. I guess you should have gotten me that dirt bike Demi. 

Being royal sounds genuinely miserable. Is she allowed to do anything other than smile and wave? 

‘I would always say, ‘Hey, watch your language, there’s a lady here,’

Fun Fact: sharks, like dogs, usually use their mouths to grab things. So they’ll often bite something just to taste it and see what it is, and don’t intend anything aggressive or hostile with it. #cuddletimewithsharks

Can’t we just call them what they are - Instagram users, not models. It like how everyone is a porn star without there ever being a porn actress.

If I had a lot of free time on my hands, I would create an instagram dedicated to all the stupid injuries people sustain when trying to get instagram likes

I think Melania just overdid it with the fillers. Plus, picking a double that actually looks like Melania wouldn’t be BoneSpur’s style. He’d pick a completely different looking (and much younger) woman and then declare that this was what Melania has always looked like and only someone who hates America and loves MS-13…

I side eyed that too. I’m 40 and I was a teenager in the 90s. A 26-year-old was 3 when I graduated from High School in 1995.

I’m sure breastfeeding is an abomination to him - breasts exist for the sexual pleasure of men and no other reason and to suggest otherwise is an affront to his fragile bullshit.

Well, why is that mother malnourished? Could “protecting, promoting, and supporting” breastfeeding include improving her health? If she’s malnourished because she’s incredibly poor, how is she paying for formula.  If she’s in an impoverished area (especially outside the US, but let’s not exclude Flint, Michigan…

Look around your office today. What if somebody asked you if there were any red flags about Joe from accounting? or Susie from HR?

STOP

why does her response matter, though? why are we holding her accountable and pressing her on the actions of a shitty man?

OMay, I wouldn’t say she had allllll that stuff sucked out, but she did have it taken down to a more realistic level that looks better and like something she could have been actually born with. Now maybe her sisters will consider thier ridiculous lip injections, as well.

I remember when I realized the cool 18 year olds I was reading about in some article were closer to my TINY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL AGED SON’S AGE than mine. And I wept.

Thank you for at least addressing some of the panic :)

Jezebel is not shutting down!! We are extremely depressed about our colleagues leaving and it’s been a shitty AF week and so we’re in mourning for a little bit. But perhaps unfortunately for you guys, you’re stuck with the rest of us til the wheels fall off. :) <3 Let’s all stay strong together. 

My apologies to those who are announcing their departures after the earlier ones. I was able to read and comment on the initial ones, but honestly, I just can’t do it anymore. This is all just making me too sad. Every day of this f’ing trump administration is terrible, and now this is just adding to the dumpster fire.…

I spent the day today in a nursing home and having conversations with my boss about aging and death, and did not feel old until reading this article. Jesus.

No.