“Why does this dummy have a bucket on its head?”

I will not buy her new book. I WILL watch Twilight of My Soul: The Stephenie Meyer Story on Lifetime Television for Women starring Julianna Margulies.

I wonder if I’ll enjoy not reading this version any more than I enjoyed not reading the original.

Dude, stop trying to squeeze into the medium sized t-shirts. You ain’t fooling anybody old man.

Niles 4EVA!!

OH

Don’t make fun of our vowels and I won’t make fun of yours. Our laptops are made by blackberry and, like enforced wearing of lululemon we must purchase them all. It’s basically a soviet gulag up here. We can only clean our bathrooms once a month when the lysol shipments from the usa arrive. someone send help. or build…

Will you survive? Maeby.

Can I ask a question that might get me in trouble?

Now I feel like you’re online flirting with me.

I mean, I imagine it’s the same reason I smoke cigarettes when I’m drunk.

“cast member of Cats who had resorted to prostitution” is a great idea of a costume!

Cecil isn’t laughing.

... is it insensitive to go as a dead lion? Like. I’m genuinely asking this because I really don’t know where the line is anymore.

Typos, it is supposed to read HELL FIEND.

“In a recent study, over 40 percent of parents agree or strongly agree that vaccines played a part in the development of their children’s autism.”

One aspect of this that really pisses me off (bros being irrationally pissed off that girls don’t want to date them, that is) is that they completely fail to acknowledge that girls and women experience THAT SAME EXACT SHIT. I mean I guess to them, we aren’t fully human, so maybe that explains it.

It always sounds like some sort of mossy artisanal sandwich topper, to me. “Would you like some spouse on your wrap?”

“It’s horrible being apart from your spouse,” Theroux, 44, told Extra