Funny you mention that - I wrote a short story for a small, unknown magazine, and that was almost an exact line of dialogue in it. What can o say - I work with what I know.

I’ve been masturbating for so long, I don’t even know when I started. Because of this, it always surprised me when I heard some women don’t know where to start. (That’s not to say I never had feelings of shame growing up – a Catholic upbringing tends to do that to you, especially in the realm of exploring your…

I smell a Pantene Pro V deal in the works! (And it smells like shitty discount shampoo.)

Just coming in to high five you for that pun, and to remind you all of the dangers of TSS.

Leave in conditioner, hands down. Everyone wants touchably soft hair.

Wait – what?

This sounds like my family. I found out my grandma has a double mastectomy a week after it happened, and my parents didn’t bother to call and tell me my dad was in the hospital from a heart attack after I called them because it was my birthday and I hadn’t heard from them.

I was going to share my story, but we broke up last year so....

It was great to have a story that was a bit more unique than most though. (Though now I see I’m not THAT much of a trailblazer – I proposed on Sadie Hawkins Day, for chrissake.)

Jesus. Writing was on the wall.

I accidentally posted the word “shit” on my company’s Instagram today – trump.

My buddy JUST did it. I was surprised that it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be – there still allowed some stuff like potatoes and salt, for some reason – but I didn’t understand the logic behind some of the no-no foods, like legumes and low-fat dairy. She stuck to it for 26 days, then we went to a cottage and…

Yeah. Beyond disappointing. :(

I’ve always dreamed of running into them up there. I’m glad to hear that my hopes for their personalities aren’t unfounded. :)

I’m there with you. OWN IT.

BEAUTIFUL

YUP! Totally there with you. But then I realized she sent them away on a boat and assumed that I had just drank too much wine.

“COME AT ME BRAH.”

Yeah, my first thought was hymen, but an earlier quote established she wasn’t a virgin.

Oh man! Do tell!

I loved everything about her in this episode.