There was never anything more pants shittingly horrifying than cold calling a girl you liked in pre-internet high-school. I used to build up the confidence to call a girl for literally months before one day finally getting the balls to do it and immediately getting shot down. Like I'd psych myself up with some Crazy…

It's impossible. And the worst part is that you never know how badly you've screwed up until you're finished, when its 2am and you realize that you buttoned the baby's leg to his chest. One time someone gave us a onesie that had REAL buttons on it. Not even snaps. I wanted to burn it.

It's like we're the same person. I had fun, and I'm glad that there are 2, 3 pictures of it all, tops.

In the interest of full disclosure — there are pics of me somewhere from a Spring Break trip to PCB back in 1996. I downed most of a 1.7 of Makers one day and the next thing I knew I was face down on my condo bed some 15 hours later. The pictures document that most of the 15-hour downtime was spent on a toilet, where…

I should be upset about this, but i'm not.

Maybe it's just me, but Dan bears a striking resemblance to Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.

They tried doing this with the Jets QB controversy as well, but the teen girls kept saying things like "Mark is so sweet."

Overalls, dude. Overalls. We had no idea what we were doing. We're like the scientists who invented asbestos. It seemed like a good idea at the time!

Most people look at the way they dressed in their teenage/college years and then look at current trends and think their styles were much better in the past. I think for us that grew up in the 90s, there is no question that kids of today dress much better than we did. It's not even close.

fair point, sloppy reading by me.

Re-read and then reconsider your response.

Another black Florida youth on the wrong side of standing your ground.

I know you're trolling, and I still can't believe how dumb that comment was.

whoooshhh

those officers obviously haven't heard of a little thing called the 2nd amendment.

Well, there goes my profile headline...

"I left with his girl's belt".

There is really only one Dogberry, and his name is Michael Keaton.

Shhh. You're ruining the kicker.

FWIW, Oden is working out at the St. Vincent's Sports Performance center in Indianapolis. They offer exclusive services to many professional athletes in many sports, especially in the off season.