Great now my marina is going to be full of poors.

Can i use the phrase “black girl magic”? Because...BLACK GIRL MAGIC!

We have to content ourselves with knowing that he will win in the history books

It’s moments like this that I wish we could do away with presidential term limits. I would vote for Obama again in a heartbeat.

Can’t wait to see the comments on social media about how the President can go to Flint but he can’t go to the funerals of every fallen officer/soldier/police dog etc.

you can get the same results by having your gallbladder removed, and you don't have to worry about making tea twice a day. can i get some cash if i show off my gallbladder scars on insta? FOLLOW ME

In the sentence following the introduction of the Sebert surname, Lutkin literally clarifies that it is Kesha’s (and Kesha’s mother’s) last name.

These celebrities doing commercials that used to go to normal actors is a huge pet peeve of mine. Jennifer Garner does not fly using credit card reward miles. Those Jennifee Aniston “oh, I just dreamt I was flying like the poors, how terrible” commercials make me want to throw things and Julia Louis Dreyfus, you are a…

damn i’m sorry... send me your subscription account # and i’ll refund you for 2016

babe why are you here

other cards Hillary has or had:

lol i am so embarrassed for anne hathaway. jesus

This is the funny part - it makes me think that he “found the support boat” on Craigslist and left it in his garage. He’s like “Support Boat - check" while packing his ball and setting off alone.

I can’t stop laughing at this Sea Hamster oh my god, humans are the best and worst thing in the world this is magnificent

“I’m fairly certain there are trained professional snipers with tranquilizer darts in case I’m too far off message.”

Is there some sort of factory that pumps out these blonde conservative dames? They all look like they were assembled en masse with a limited choice of distinguishing features

Man, more power to any new mom who can get an hour or two to herself (or out with her husband, girlfriends, etc.). You suddenly feel like everything you have belongs to a tiny, adorable, demanding creature. A brief respite to wear clean clothes and engage with adults can help keep you sane.

Martyr Mommies unite! Engage JUDGEMENT! Activate CONDESCENSION!

Meanwhile...

Also as a side note I feel like the word *drama* gets used in a really gendered way, specifically as dismissive of women’s voices, feelings, experiences.