My nightstand is littered with water glasses. It's like the house from Signs.

This is true. It is much better to wash your knives in the blood of your enemies.

Never, ever, EVER, use the Internet to prove your wife wrong.

I'd love to use this to end an argument with my wife, once and for all, but I suspect that the new argument would be even worse!

Must...not...get excited. Must...remember prequels. Must...remember Into Darkness...

I already own one for each TV in the house, but at $23 dollars, that's not a valid excuse anymore!

I already own one for each TV in the house, but at $23 dollars, that's not a valid excuse anymore!

Hamster balls!

Yes, because there are no alternatives between building a coffee table from a pallet and throwing the pallet in a dumpster. And there is no middle ground between building a table from pallet wood and a heirloom table you can pass down to your grandchildren. Must be really hard to knock down those strawmen, huh?

I'm sorry, I think I may have worded that incorrectly. I wasn't trying to look down at you from my high horse while I single handedly saved the environment (by day I am Eric the RC guy, at night I am Captain-save-a-tree.

Haha.. yeah you would guess wrong.

If only there had been a "hammer time" joke and some scuttling side to side.

It doesn't work for me, since I have no Apple stuffs in my house.

Its time to kick ass and chew bubble gum and I'm all out of gum

It depresses me that there's a whole generation of people who've become so accustom to eating dog shit (Michael Bay movies) that they don't even recognize Tenderloin wrapped in Bacon and floating in a lake of Burgundy wine demi-glace as food.

A gift I gave myself: all new plastic storage containers. All the same size & shape so you will never have to rummage around for a lid to match a container! I still use the disposable kind and they still seem to last a good long time. They'll always stack properly in the fridge/freezer, and they'll all fit the same…