He looks like a celery stalk that ended up in the wrong wedding party.

What a delicate snowflake. I’ve seen a lot of stupid shit in my time, but that was incredibly, monumentally stupid shit. The lengths they will go to to not just avoid having an honest conversation about the pain being felt in this country, but poison the well to avoid the conversation being had.

Like a gallon of spoiled milk that can smell itself.

He looks like a sentient stack of Communion wafers.

Nope. Fuck her and Gary Johnson (and Bill Weld, who came just short of endorsing HRC but chickened out), too.

Mike Pence looks like two eyeholes poked into a used Kleenex

He looks like beige jello made with milk.

He looks like an old white mushroom upset that it rolled into a bin of brown mushrooms.

“I will not dignify any event...”

Like this?

He looks like a stale, old marshmallow that just found out a lesbian couple bought the house next door.

Fuck Mike Pence.

He looks like Frosty the Snowman if Frosty were made out of mayo

That burn is as layered as an onion.

The pool reporters were not allowed out of the transport vans at the stadium because this was a planned PR stunt and the logistics folks knew VP would be leaving ASAP

He looks like a dollop of sour cream that forgot it’s reading glasses.

He went to a 49ers game and was upset they knelt? He’s like someone who watched NYPD Blue in order to be offended by Dennis Franz’s ass.

Ahahahahahahaha

Are we sure he didn’t run into an unattended woman at the concession stand?

Mike Pence looks like a stick of deodorant someone taught to wince.