Yes.

*receives pink slips*

Yeah, they were duped, but don’t you stand there and pretend like they took up valuable news time. This was the most exciting thing that’s happened to Eau Claire since I stopped to shit at their Wendy’s while driving to Minneapolis.

“Nice throw, man.”

But according to The Root, we’re supposed to be rooting for Mayweather because McGregor is a racist. What do we do now?

I would watch soccer if it were like this all the time.

Gee I just can’t figure out why skaters don’t like cops. Maybe they should try doing their fucking jobs and protecting people rather than antagonizing and escalating. It’s amazing how bad so many of these idiots are at their job

This is good stuff, Ben- thanks.

A professional wrestler in a high school gym in rural Kentucky is better informed than our president.

Oh my goodness.

Man, the Intercontinental Championship Belt still gets no respect.

I’m sure the Knicks actually meant to sign Tim Hardaway Sr.

He’s going to Miami, bank on it. The man is a GLORY BOY who will follow the glitz and glamour to South Beach.

Is that you, Progressive Liberal?

His finishing move is “The Safe Space” in which he runs his opponent over from inside his Prius.

Have him face off with Corey Graves’ brother, who is working a MAGA gimmick down in Mexico, at Wrestlemania instead of Roman fucking Reigns standing tall for the fourth straight year.

I find this promotion strange. Wasn’t the whole point of building that new stadium so white people can run away from non-white people?

I would entirely shit myself if a bus sized sea creature casually surfaced right next to my very tiny bro boat.

That season Ubaldo almost won a Cy Young feels like one thousand years ago. Man.