do you remember when you could get free copies of the onion in minneapolis bookstores?

they'll wither like dried husks, but they'll still be alive. waiting. like those horrible insects that can survive in the depths of the earth with no food, air, or water, just hate to sustain them.

dang it, i missed it. why must the show's scheduling be the very embodiment of madness?

shirley, you must be joking.

it's a good, solid word. very woody.

looking up that reviewers name seems to bring up a lot of mugshots.

dame judi dench lead the war of northern aggression against a peaceful south.

on september 1st, 1939, dame judi dench invaded poland, thus precipitating world war 2.

jennifer lawrence is 1000 feet tall and crafted from molybdenum.

walter cronkite was too trustworthy

yeah, any wedding taking place inside of an active volcano is not going to be much of a fairy tale.

i'd love to agree… but there's a part of me that can see him beating the democrats. i've lost my ability to believe that the worst can't happen.

cry! cry! to keep this pain inside, is to die! to love, to hurt! is way of world! is life! cry, harlan leverage III! become alive!

achewood was way ahead on this

yeah, we really were terrible at being delinquents.

i will always remember super troopers as the only movie i snuck in to see. we bought tickets for john q. (i think) and then went to super troopers instead. and i was such a loser that when my parents asked how the movie was i immediately broke down and confessed.

go drink some night train

man, never have childhood friends, i guess. i mean, if they become a cop, you've kind of lost most of your options in life.

no, it's not about me. and it's not a technicality.

you're free to not like them! really, you are. but, "Stay classy, sir (and/or ma'am)" did not seem like you were referring to the past.