Once again, The Onion got there first.

““very deranged individual [with] a lot of problems over a long period of time.””

But enough about the President. 

It’s not a guns situation, though. He was mentally ill so he could have just as easily used throwing stars, a pick-em-up truck, or illegal immigrants to kill all those people. It’s just that an AR-15 was easier to pick up than a library card. A mere coincidence, surely.

Aside from his moronic nonsense that it’s not about guns, does our dipshit in chief even realize that his willful and spiteful dismantling of Obamacare will make mental health services even more difficult to access? Ugh, he’s such a fool, it makes my head hurt.

“a mental health problem at the highest level”

Not if you ask him, he went to the Ivy League you know, he’s very intelligent, one of the great memories of all time.

You know if I didn’t know any better... I’d be inclined to think Trump just might be a moron.

I know that I should feel bad about this, but I’m having trouble mustering it up. I’m a terrible person.

I haven’t heard a single one of these stories where the gunman was taken out before he could start his spree. It always ends with the gunman turning his gun on himself or being taken out by cops. Unless they bury these stories, not a single civilian has ever once stopped a shooter, and I doubt they would bury a story…

You could have just titled this “Tyrese Gibson quits Fast and Furious franchise”

The woman next to her is wearing the most terrifying witch costume I’ve ever seen!

the Model S has received Consumer Reports reliability ratings of anywhere between “below average” and “above average.” (That publication recently predicted that the 3's reliability will be “average”).

I’d like Mueller to go to Jared.

Remember when someone with dignity, grace, style, and genuine affection for the next generation occupied the office?

I want to be the bigger person but inside I was all

This why I can’t be a guidance counselor, cause I would have just gone to the white student and said, “now tell me. what have you learned?”

...where was he the past 8-years while the GOP was heading in this direction??

Unless the new one doesn’t have at least a chapter where he does nothing but apologize for inflicting Palin on the country, hard pass.

Finally! These disabled children have enjoyed the free ride for too long! Enjoy your inadequate schools, underpaid teachers, lack of aides, inadequate funding, lack of attention, lack of appropriate educational material, inadequate safety measures, inadequate vocational training and assistance, lack of...

A couple of additional things: