I hate you so much right now.

Here it is folks, the worst take on this thread.

Wait... you’re saying this is a distillation of the brand? And it’s sterile? You’re the person excited to buy the Z4 with it’s 8 million creases, aren’t you...

Ahhhh, YES, this is the masterful HamNo hot troll garbage I fucking live for. This is why some of us still come back to this place... and also why this writer will probably never be able to find work at another publication. Hook it into my veins!

I think being a Honda would help it, though. Plus it looks leagues better than either of those.

The Celtics just got better.

$200k to spend and you’re asking for advice? He doesn’t have a pretty solid opinion of what he wants, or does he simply want to tell someone he has $200k to blow to gloat? 

I lie. Every time. I mean, every time. The ones that ask, never EVER use it for good. They use it to hail me down when I’m taking an order from another customer or rushing to the computer before I forget to ring in that extra order of bread for the crab dip for that couple at 64. Every time.

She’s thinking “I’m doing pretty well for someone who doesn’t support Medicare For All! Imagine if I were an actual progressive instead of a late-in-life convert from the ivory tower!

One thing I’ve rarely done, even as a regular, is ask bartenders their name—I think it’s nice to know their name, but I don’t want to be intrusive if it’s not offered. I’m always taken aback by how often my friends ask bartenders their names out of the blue and introduce themselves. I feel like my favorite bartenders…

My favorite Rick Bayless fact is when he came to California and declared we didn’t have a Mexican food tradition here. That’s right. No real authentic Mexican food to be found... in California. Fuck that guy.

I read it as don’t be a dick, and be friendly to the bartenders. But do you man.

To me, Rick Bayless will always be that creepy guy who flirts with his own daughter on TV.

What is astonishing about this for me is the lengths the police went to paint this as a human trafficking case without any evidence. I kept reading and waiting for the moment where they were able to justify this insane overreach on their part, but there was literally nothing there as the courts are finding out as well.

I’m glad we can take this moment to reinforce the truth that Keenan Thompson... is good.

No one:

On that topic, he’s granted more wishes than anyone else in the history of the Make a Wish Foundation. 

You’ve already proven the Cleveland stereotype correct so...

*looks around* Uhh, you're the only one yelling.