You should try Dirt:Rally. If you tried it there, the trees would be kind enough to stop you before anything bad happened. 

Please don’t take it as an insult when I say that I miss Timothy Burke.

Sorry friendo. I feel for ya. I got no Oriole hate. The teams I truly despise never seem to be awful.

Admittedly, my WPM count ain’t what it used to be, but that took way longer than a minute to read.

Fuckin’ A, man. +1

I think he’s under the impression that pimpin’ is easy. The fact of the matter is that pimpin’ ain’t easy. Moreover, I’ll go so far as to say that it is indeed hard out here for a pimp.

Not sure I'd be wanting to make that association given the subject matter.

It is a very offputting sensation, I agree. I'm not a fan.

Wait...

I missed it. Is there a kind soul in the vast expanse of grey that can help me out?

Admittedly, I’m a Braves homer, but I like this move. They have the bats, but they needed to tighten up the starting rotation.

Henry David Theriot

PROOF! They’re corkin' their balls!

Is his dick considered his money-maker in this situation?

Correct. That’s for the fans to decide.

I’m late to the party, but I’m gonna vote for Bill Walton. Poetry in motion on the floor, but when you see him just standing there it looks like he needs to walk with a cane.

By the rules of Darwinian sport, it ain’t illegal until the cops say it is.

It was technically a “fielder’s choice”, but he never made one. What’s the notation for just “fielded”?

A friend of mine was doing me a big favor by moving into a house with me on short notice. Mainly because I came home one afternoon and my two roommates had moved all their shit out. No phone call, text, note. Just ghosted me. So I convince M to move in and obviously I’m gonna help him. He rents a uhaul and we get to…