:(

This is the exact stuffed uterus I reference above. Well done.

I'm also now wondering if you might actually be the friend to whom I gave a stuffed uterus for Christmas the other year... if so, sorry about the uterus.

This isn't a solution, but I'm just so happy that this is an actual problem in your life.

I'm 26 and was literally just sitting here, feeling proud of myself for being such a good adult today before reading this. I now see that I am not adulting nearly as well as I thought I was :(

Too late, I'm already photoshopping her into all my pictures so that I can post them on Facebook and tag her.

Also she's hilarious and intelligent, A+ answers to questions she probably wishes she didn't have to field constantly, so on and so forth, back to self-pity.

Um. So. She's 24?!?

I cannot for the life of me figure out why a significant number people find him to be a personable, likable, moderate Republican. Like... generally, even if I 100% disagree with a politician, I can at least muster a vague understanding of why their supporters feel the way they do. But with Christie I just DO NOT GET…

My dog is small, so I can bring him (in his carrier) in the cabin with me... he's basically my carry-on luggage.

That sounds terrible :(

It's true. I suspect he caused the polar vortex.

I'm (theoretically) flying back to NYC tomorrow. I will have my dog with me. The last time I flew with my dog I ended up sitting through a random 7-and-a-half hour delay... and that was not the first time such a thing happened. He's a bad luck dog. All signs point to shittiest day possible :(

CAN'T. THIS IS THE END.

I actually cannot stop cackling over this. Help. Laughing forever. Can't breathe.

Brooklyn?!?

You are a good gift-giver.

Hrm. I wonder how my dog will feel about sharing my apartment with all these new feathered friends...

I want that chicken.

This brings me much joy.