Dear Republicans, I've had a lot of sadness this year at Christmastime (little kids getting murdered by a gun toting nut, an AIDS activist who apparently was very beloved by all who knew him passing away, various friends having health problems, the MidEast blowing up, etc...), but you've decided to give me a special…

"How can you not see/care that this borders on dehumanizing?"

I used to work in Long Island City in an industrial area, and I once saw a cab driver and a toothless old prostitute haggling over money. She stormed off saying "$10, fuck that shit, ten dollars? Fuck him." I was impressed that she didn't take the money.

I just wish she'd decided to have a lesbian affair like other women having a mid-life crisis.

I was kind of surprised her rates were that low as well. She's super sexy.

This seems like an existential French film, where the swing represents our mortality. Either that, or that bulldog really likes to swing.

Do I feel enlightened? Not particularly, since a lot of "single" Mormon women live in trailer homes in Utah and collect welfare, because their "husbands" can't provide for multiple wives and children. By your logic people also wouldn't use drugs or hire prostitutes...because they're illegal. Don't you feel enlightened?

She's probably praying to Jesus that she grows a penis so she doesn't have to be a 14 year old sister wife to some old man and his harem.

I got a laugh out of this as well. Republicans are just turning into a big ball of paranoia and delusion, wrapped in a crazy ribbon.

"...and the set of Modesty Club standards on the website features cute rhyming rules (e.g. "It's best to flirt in a knee length skirt.") "

When you embrace Sarah Palin you have lost all credibility.

Why, God, why? She was taken too young!

The problem with Lindsay Lohan is not Lindsay Lohan, it is us. If she were an actress in the 1940s we'd all find her exciting, fun loving, and madcap. Now that we all know about mental illness, the mystery is gone, and we all think she's bipolar. Once again, knowledge proves to be a total buzzkill.

You know how you could tell if you are a robot with no human emotions?

That was the perfect description!

Charleston, SC which is not quite as bad as Greenville SC (home of Bob Jones University aka BJ U), but it's bad enough. Charleston is actually known as the "liberal" part of South Carolina.

I was driving down the highway near Tampa, Florida one time and saw a zebra eating grass in a pasture. I totally did a Don Knotts type double-take coupled with a "wha the what?"

I would totally read that book, and then do some sort of pornographic fanfic called Fifty Shades of Fey.

Has any of this been clinically proven? Will I be able to lose 20 pounds in two weeks without diet or exercise? Is any of this going to make my breasts larger?

I'm surrounded by republican evangelicals and their hatred of the poor never ceases to amaze me. I'm pretty sure their philosophy is not at all WWJD.