Cliff and Claire tried to warn Elvin not to quit medical school to open that wilderness store.

Chris Rock had a great take on that: “Kobe Bryant is rich. The white guy who signs Kobe’s paycheck is wealthy.”

Everyone at FuckedNews makes their bank by blowing Valdimir Putin, but this guy’s the one who should be ashamed?

Nope. The real reason is obvious. Despite his on screen persona as a reality tv star, Donald trump is literally incapable of actually firing someone face to face. Plus, he wants sessions to resign so the fake news can’t start saying he’s obstructing justice or it’s the start of a Saturday massacre, etc.

I never thought I’d say this, but I’m enormously proud of Meghan McCain. That took some real stones. And fuck, dude, her tribute and the emotions that rang through it were heartbreaking.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world:

Y’all, I have, like, a teenage girl crush on Beto O’Rourke. We hugged once (well, side hug, like a Duggar) and I swear I got butterflies. He’s very, very handsome.

At long last, it’s finally begun.

Meanwhile in Chappaqua

This is where Michael Avenatti jumps in from his twitter):

IT’S HAPPENING!

Because in that scenario you would never have been born?

I see Florida is gonna Florida.

and whatever he says bounces off of Rudy Giuliani and...uh...hummina hummina...

She’s just so unpleasant to look at. Not attractive, not hideous, just plain unpleasant.

She’s a dreadful human. Really dreadful. Opportunistic, anomic, disturbingly empty. There appears to be no there there.

I would have accepted:

Absolutely, they’re very sharp. A concept I wish they’d had back when I was their demographic (mid-Pleistocene Era).

He needs to keep my Maxine’s name out of his baboon ass looking mouth!

For real. I try to have patience. But it’s so hard not to cringe when the daily political roundup sounds like pre-woke Teen Vogue.