Albuquerque has 5,000 people!

I love Zero Fucks Hillary.  She’s been attacked for so many years, that she’s just letting it fly now that she isn’t running for office and doesn’t have to keep up appearances as First Lady.

Do you remember in the early days of the administration when they had to meet in the dark because no-one could find the light switch in the cabinet room? Glad to see that spirit lives on...

Mr. Reggie is so pure, I can barely deal.  

*wistful sigh*

Ted Lieu is a fucking gem. 

Yea well FUCK MARCO RUBIO

Bernie is going nowhere in 2020 except back in the closet with his $99 men’s wearhouse suits.

*rails against white geriatrics in the party*

Romney is eating some kind of delicate fine dining fare, and Trump looks like he just slurped up a bowl of pasgetti O’s.

But wait we need to know what Ned in Clusterfuck, Nebraska thinks about this. We should also talk to Barney & Zeke in Dipshit, Iowa to get their opinion on how this NY coastal elite will contribute to them living off of NYC’s tax money. Already people are shitting on this as some kind of failure for Pelosi and…

I’m hopping aboard the Fincher bus in terms of living Davids who make the talkies. He gives us decent gifs and shuts his fucking mouth when it needs shutting.

Forgot to add, regarding indictments, let one of them be the allegedly cooperating (but we know he’s lying like a dog) Eric Prince. Because many of us have been waiting so many years for him to be indicted. So many years.

Will you?

Listen, this might be a controversial concept, but have you ever considered ramming an entire saguaro cactus up your rectum?

Seeking asylum is not illegal, you worthless fucking moron.

UGH SPEAKING OF GAROFALO!  The Truth About Cats and Dogs!  That one’s so great!

Like, totally, fer sher!

Bobby, you’re an unkind person. A fan on Instagram made that image and Madonna re-posted it as a gesture of appreciation. She does that from time to time and if you were paying attention you’d know that - but you only want to criticize to get a boost to our own ego. Sad.

You seem like a good kid so I’ll do you a kindness with a little advice: no matter how much you might want it, under no circumstances should your teacher be having sex with you, especially if, as is obvious in your case, you’re home-schooled.