I forgot that I shared a birthday with Madonna. Anyway, yesterday was my 29th birthday. I was born on the 9th anniversary of the death of Elvis Presley. I found out that Elvis Presley’s second and third toe were webbed on each foot, just like mine are. This can only mean one thing: I am the reincarnation of Elvis…

She’s gained like 40 lbs overnight. Or that’s a weird camera trick.

OMG COURTNEY F-ING STODDEN.

“I was just a quiet girlfriend who got beat on and told to sit down and shut up.” This is followed by an uncomfortable silence. “My part has no value to, probably, what they really want to talk about,”

I, for one, am relieved that Lea Michele finally wore something fun and cute and just smiled on the red carpet (vs. showing up in her typical naked/body con dress and her “goddammitt I’m SEXY do you hear me?!?” fishface).

Chinese finger trap.

and he is back

My younger sister went through a BIG phase where she would only order chicken tenders at restaurants, then would LOSE HER SHIT when they weren’t the “right” chicken tenders. Logic does not come easily to 3-6 year olds (that is how long this lasted). We didn’t really go out to eat very often, but when on road trip…

I call “the dark lines are carcinogens.”

Weekly Pinkham’s Law Bet: milkshakes (“the restaurant opens at 10AM!! the milkshake machine should have been ready when it was supposed to be!!” etc., while ignoring any discussion of the whole “put it in a bag” madness)

She looks fantastic! Also, regardless of what she does later, I am team #Brit4ever.

Britney is fabulous. This post was unnecessarily mean.

It's the Goldschlager of the new millennium.

My husband is not a drinker, but someone gave him a shot of Fireball Whiskey recently at a gig. His review- “It was like a cinnamon...what do you call those things? A jawbreaker. It was like drinking candy. It was fucking ridiculous.” This from a man who literally does not know how to order a drink. He will walk up to…

I will say, Butch & Leisurely sounds like a fabulous lifestyle magazine.

Most kids know better...

For the record she was tall enough to lick the doughnut on the counter. Usually kids can’t.

Wendy it is rude to make fun of babies. They can’t defend themselves. And to be fair she is HUGE compared to other 2 year-olds

I am now wondering if some shithead billionaire has stipulated hair removal in a prenup somewhere and I BET THE ANSWER IS YES.

yeah. i like her so can easily laugh it off. she’s an older ukrainian woman that can get away with saying crap like that.