I honestly can’t explain it. We were together for a loooong time before we got married but the minute we did, it was different. It’s weird.

the planters were a nice touch

Today a Mom shared pictures of the pee and lil poo her kid did in the potty.

I have a FB friend that will just “check in” at a hospital, then ignore all the “What’s wrong?” followup comments for the rest of the day. LULZ

Since I live in the Bible Belt I see “Unspoken prayer request” at least once a week.

“This is the WORST thing that has ever happened to me! I can’t believe no one CARES. And NO I do NOT want to talk about it. LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!”

No seriously I want someone to explain to me why this company is so successful and why women love it so. Please. I’m trying to ask nicely without snark and judgement. And that’s really hard for me because I am so good at being judgmental and snarky.

I’ll be nice and not use a Russell Wilson/Clara story to make yet another football joke. I actually like Russell Wilson, he seems like a decent guy. I don’t know what his ceiling is as a QB but at least he won’t make your team a laughing stock like a certain Bucs QB.

I thought she looked like Tan Mom, but now I feel bad for having typed that.

Good job Mark. You’ve scared me to death of something that I probably won’t ever get but HOLY FUCKING CRAP YOU CAN GET A DISEASE THAT STARVES YOU TO DEATH JESUSSSSSS.

When we were in high school, a girl I went to church with developed this. It took about a year before she got a diagnosis. Her parents were a bit weird about food in a kind of controlling way, so a lot of us thought it was some type of disordered eating she developed to push back against that. This disease is just…

As long as Miranda Lambert didn’t cheat with Luke Bryan, I ain’t even mad. Cuz that guy is turrible.

I didn’t find that story particularly sympathetic or unsympathetic—I just thought it was unusual and interesting. There doesn’t always have to be a good guy and a bad guy; sometimes stuff is just bizarre.

I LOVE that it’s called “corn hole.” It gives me joy. I am also terrible at corn hole but it’s fun.

DAMN DARRELL YOU NAMIN’ NAMES! NAME ON NAMERFUCKER.

You should’ve sent that story in. And the next time I go to see a movie, I’m going to ask for a golden shower on my popcorn.

These really are all WTF territory, but that last one brought me joy. I’m still trying to figure out how the food blew out the door and they just decided oh well they’re not getting food...

I was truly hoping this was going to end with you telling that girl that it wouldn’t be free if she just gave it to you.

The movie theater story reminded me of one of my own. One time getting popcorn at a local multiplex, the (obviously new) teenage girl behind the counter asked me “Would you like a golden shower with that?” causing me to pause significantly before confirming that I would like some butter-like topping. While she was…

I remember seeing somewhere that they’re required to “work it” also. So much multitasking. Its seems like such a difficult life.