Uh huh, because some people are told if they leave they will lose their job and they are poor enough that they stay because they must. Or they have no transportation. Or they have no money for fuel to leave. Or they just got leave as of today and are stuck on the highway like my brother, his wife, and their five…

“Lizard Man Promotes Evacuation; Will Feast on Stragglers Left Behind!”

Christ. Even fucking natural disasters are a liberal conspiracy now.

Someone should tell him to fly a kite. With the rope tied around his feet. And a car door for a kite.

They should have called it Hurricane Thanks Obama.

Billy Long, who’s been in office since 2011 and is in the regular habit of holding strangely expensive fundraising rallies, including one at a Taylor Swift concert and one at a Jerry Seinfeld performance.

Day 2 - “Dick Long”
Day 3 - “Peter Long”
Day 4 - “Rod Long”

“Billy Long” sound like a fake name you use to check into a Vegas hotel with a hooker.

This just proves how important it is for young girls to have access to toys, media, and stories where they can see themselves represented. The little sister’s excitement was very cute, too. <keyboard is drenched while I’m writing this>

and he doesnt drink beer either

The man failed miserably selling gambling, football, and steak.

In just a shitty dragon costume. While everything else is flawless and precise.

A one Wuman show, if you will.

I did not. Was it good? Bad? Does he harbor dark secrets? Surreptitious superheroism?

I really tried to care this morning because drama follows Demi like a shadow but clowns were spotted on my school campus last night and I’m considering moving out of the country because of it.

I HATE having to buy a new vacuum every year or two!

(i know it’s unzipped but i loled. douches do love their deep v-necks)

They drafted women in the 60's???

I’ve never been more excited to be wrong.