Ahem. “Fewer birthdays.”

I also don’t have a lot of friends....

Something I’ve been wondering about for a long time: Does anyone have enough insight into the conservative male mind to explain how they pick the ladies of Fox News? — I don’t mean the “look” they all have — generic, big-hair, pancake-makeup small-town beauty pageant runner up. That part makes total sense for…

Also, they would be white.

I just once want someone to try this kind of thing in front of me. Not to brag, or anything, but I can emotionally eviscerate a person without dropping my nice, Midwestern smile or using a single swear. If it were me in that line with my kid, that lady would need years of therapy after.

Okay, Jesus, we get it. Stop posting the exact same comment on every thread.

Thanks! Appreciate the parody version. Because for one thing, it can’t be that far off, and for two: No way in hell am I subjecting myself to a David Brooks column, let alone one where he tries to instruct and inform Ta-Nehisi Coates.

“Let’s just hope the majority of Americans aren’t stupid enough to....”

Dude, never, ever begin a sentence this way.

I myself am a parent, thanks to the diapragm!

Hi. I liked that movie too. But “birth center” covers a lot of ground. Sometimes it’s little more than a home birth at somebody else’s house. I would ask a lot of questions. Ask about the most dangerous, common complications of childbirth, and what their plan is. For example, if their plan for placental abruption is…

Can I give free, unsolicited advice to a stranger on the internet? Post-partum body was a shock for me. You see lots of pictures of idealized pregnant bodies, but I had no idea what a woman’s body looks like in the weeks and months after giving birth. It was very hard to deal with how strange and doughy and wrecked my…

Quick pop culture summary:

What? Wait - Lyanna’s bridal cloak? Vision dragon at Winterfell? Forget it. I do not get to call myself a book reader.

Thanks! But fucking hell, GRRM. I’m a pretty careful reader. I hang out with other geeks who love these books and discuss them endlessly - and still I miss a major clue.

I hate to say it, but when your partner is pregnant, it will get worse. If you are visibly pregnant, people get fucking weird. It’s like there is this precious treasure, and it’s trapped inside some dumb cunt who might break it. People act kind of reverential and coo at you - but it’s about you as a vessel. And if you…

Hang on wait what? Sam has the horn of Joramun? When did that happen?

Wow. You’ve got the solution to everyone’s problems and are always happy to share. I bet people love you.

Thank God you are not in the same room with me, calling severe morning sickness an “inconvenience” and a “lifestyle” concern. Bitch, may you one day know hyperemesis gravidarum.

Actually.... I hate to be that lady, but while most hospitals are happy to let you squat and walk around during early labor, they do want you to lie down flat on your back with your feet up when it’s time to push. My room had a squat bar and a whirlpool and all the rest of it, but I got pushed down on my back on the…

Mmm... ham.... I got back to the recovery room and ate most of a wheel of cheese, a bunch of grapes, several nectarines, an omelette, and an entire box of Petit Ecolier cookies.

Have people ever seen a placenta? I mean - grossness all aside, they are surprisingly large. Eating a whole one would be like eating a whole calf’s liver at a sitting. I was ravenous after giving birth, but even if the placenta were not horrifying, that would still be a lot of food.