Not using a condom and knocking up* my ex wife.

Following Shannon Sharpe on twitter was the best decision I ever made.

maybe he’ll be president some day.

Ray Lewis says so many words yet says nothing.

I know people are probably going to make fun of the name of the guy he punched but they should know that in Dutch it’s actually pronounced “hard weiner”.

Gallinari had no comment about the incident, because an Italian with a broken hand is effectively mute.

He ignored the guy three times but it finally got to be too much. This won’t be the last time he would’ve been better opting for a quadruple bypass.

Have we christened a new term the “own golazo”? I feel like it had to have been used before now

Rejecting a basic, centuries-old scientific discovery that can be proven by using eyeballs: not great, but tolerable.

Lebron James is not the best. Currently, Lebron James is not the best player in the world. The title of best player in the world has to go to someone who plays both sides of the ball. Lebron James’s defense has fallen off a cliff. He played no defense in the NBA finals. The Warriors never had to go that crazy…

Who among us doesn’t enjoy watching someone be bad at their job. It’s why I tip extra for bad service at restaurants, it’s all part of the experience!

Maybe its like a Cinderella pumpkin or something, at the stroke of midnight on your 40th bday, your return to your normal form.

Your comment reminded me of watching a buddy’s baseball game when I was in high school. One of his coaches got tossed for the same reason, and he was so mad that his parting words to the umpire were “no one will be sad when you die!”

Not being allowed to argue balls and strikes is one of the dumber things about baseball.

Were you out all fucking night?

Unfortunately it seems like there’s much more to this story to unfold....

Every once in a while—certainly not often—you read about what seems to be a bona fide miracle. Not like it’s any surprise, but that’s a tough dude.

Do you go with the dude from Vice? Because this is all the same imagery (specifically the needle) as his video shows.

This story ended with Jerry Jones paying off the witnesses and authorities through funds from the giant Salvation Army kettle at JerryWorld.