Needs more cowbell.

our planet is still on the verge of destruction

There’s gotta be a German word for this combination of sad and gross with a pinch of nostalgia and a sprinkling of porta-potty.

Who doesn’t love an orgy of self-parody?

Oh yeah. You know he’s packing a Keitel.

I look at King as two halves of his career, with the midpoint circa ‘95. Almost all his greatness is in that first half.

To be fair, no one has asked for any King novels since the end of The Dark Tower.

Well, Reagan should have gone to prison, too. 

I’m angry because 40% of the population is too dumb to understand they should be feeling shame.

ALL HAIL THE GIANT SNATCH

You can grab my pussy but you can’t grab my guns.™

Totally stupid, and absolutely true. 

Some acts of creation are more profound than others.

They can’t be deprogrammed. These are the same people who think Ronald Reagan is the greatest man who ever lived.

Jesus is great at parties, able to turn a gram of cocaine into a kilo on demand!

“Hey, what about me?!?!”

They’ve all got heads like holes.

Germany, 1932.

I tried pointing that out to my rabid evangelical family members. It didn’t go over well.