Nobody for apocalyptic? Not that there’s any bad flavor of horror, but to me the end of the world is the greatest thing in the universe.

Most of the conspiracy nuts I’ve met have a sense of humor that tops out at mocking people with disabilities.

You frothy bastard!

Barack Obama displayed the power of empathy. Some people might have learned something from it, but it just pissed off half the population.

I... uhh... well... huh?

a composite sketch of the suspect:

Except he’s his own secretary, and answers all calls in the voice and tone of Annie Potts in Ghostbusters.

Make it a sitcom.

That idea is flirtin’ with disaster.

Great book featuring many of my favorite bands in the world, but I don’t think this idea would fly. The target demographic is just too narrow. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love for the whole world to know how great Hüsker Dü was, but most people would not be interested.

Kawhi is great, but he clearly only got that steal because he fell down in the right place at the right time, which is exactly how my greatest athletic achievements were achieved.

I’m a bit disappointed by your disappointment.

BUT MY LAWYERZ!

Do you really want to talk about the scoreboard, dumbass?

“I blame Libby Watson.”