Ja, er ist Expert. 

Oh he tees off on par 3’s, and as the ball dribbles into the bunker behind the green Trump always says “will you look at that? Another hole in one!” He’s almost as good a golfer as Kim Jong Il https://www.thestar.com/sports/golf/2011/12/19/kim_jongil_once_carded_38under_par_at_pyongyang_golf_course.html

I used to dismiss Chrissy Teigen as just another person famous for being famous and pretty, but I started following her on Twitter about a year ago after I saw a random tweet that made me laugh and I gotta tell ya, she’s delightful. Funny, insightful, good mix of content, usually keeps her feed light with jokes and…

He just signed a one year deal with the Patriots. No joke.

Oh my God, that’s right! He played Joe the Policeman.

The Patriots have ALWAYS been able to handle monumental train wrecks without it harming the locker room. Moss had a record breaking season. Gordon had a pretty good stretch before he relapsed, and even then it didn’t affect the rest of the team. Hell, they even had an actual murderer on the roster, who was an All Pro…

I think a lot of them will, yes. Hypocrisy is their real god. But a not insignificant number will just stay home, and considering he won the EC by 80k votes spread across three states, he can’t afford for ANYONE to stay home. He literally needs every single vote he got in ‘16 and then some. I don’t expect turnout to…

The vast majority of the time it is the guest’s own hair. As a man who had short dark hair when I waited tables in a restaurant kitchen staffed entirely by Colombian men, also with short dark hair, if I had a nickel for every time a blonde woman pointed to a long blonde hair in her food and blamed our kitchen, I’d…

Police Academy 3. It was Proctor.

August 2013

I know, I can’t fuckin wait! His crying face will be my lock screen on my phone and his keening and blubbering will be my ringtone for the next five years.

Fair warning, I’m doing more than a little speculating here, but I think rallies are still a net positive for him. The unmitigated adulation from the crowd gives him an emotional boost, and any climbing of stairs can be done backstage. All he has to do is rumble his fat ass to a podium, lean against it for an hour or…

Pence locks down the wavering of the Christian right, people who are on board with the racism and the class warfare and the corporate giveaways, but worry Trump won’t oppress the chicks and the homos enough. So Pence doesn’t expand his electorate, but he solidifies a weak flank in Trump’s base. 

when he’s 78. His mental state has deteriorated markedly since he entered the White House. If he’s even capable of dressing and feeding himself in 5 years, I owe you a coke. 

It takes a lot to make a stew

From your mouth to God’s ears, my friend!

Yup, I’m sure Secret Service has picked more than a few balls out of bunkers and given Trump a drop, closer to the hole, with no stroke penalty. UNLIMITED MULLIGANS. 

The shorter version of this article:

And 2 rounds of golf is 36 holes.

On a golf cart. Ride up to the ball, get out, make your shot, lather, rinse, repeat. Golfers golf until they literally can’t stand up anymore. My grandfather had Alzheimer’s and a bad hip, but he still played four rounds a week until he went into the nursing home at 82, thanks to golf carts.