what do white girls and prime numbers have in common?

Yeah, McConaughey, let's make sure we keep the spirit of the 1930s alive when it comes to race relations.

Seriously McConaughey? Just when I was starting to like you again, you have to go and say racist crap like that?

This level of panic in the US is clearly ridiculous, but by the same token "one isolated part of Africa" doesn't quite do justice to the situation. It's killing thousands in Sierra Leone and Liberia, and has jumped the border to Senegal and Nigeria (who, thankfully, have done a much better job containing it), as well…

Teenagers at the high school think, "Hola Ebola" is the most hilarious thing in the world. It's like everything to first-world is either a "what if" (hence panic and over-reaction) or a joke.

I'm in favor of a ban (fwiw, I smoke). Buy your pot, make your own edibles. It's way, way too easy for kids to get a hold of pot candy and other treats, whether they know they're pot-laden or not. Small children are particularly susceptible. It's very easy to ingest too much, and while it's not deadly, it's not…

"that becomes a fivetop midway-through when somebody wanders down from the bar, pulling a chair up to the side of the booth and obstructing the path through and creating a fire-hazard."

I worked this tiny, 65 seat bistro for a few years. While it had all the usual perils of serving, it definitely had it moments. We got a lot of famous customers and a lot of really great regulars. Every year there's a holiday live music event, it's hugely popular, booked out 6 weeks in advance, 2 shows a night for a…

At my job, I keep an entire rainbow of sharpie pens with me (downtime = coloring! woo!) and I arrange them with the caps stuck across my apron in a gradient. Whenever the kitchen is crashing and burning and all there is to do is high-anxiety waiting, it's good to put them back in order. This has the added bonus of…

I suppose Katy Perry's "California Gurls" should have discussed water shortages, migrant farm worker's rights, rising rent and gentrification, and state budget shortfalls.

Every Friday night, these two wonderful women come into the restaurant I work at at about 5pm and stay until 8:30 or so drinking and chatting and relaxing after a long work week. They always have kind words for my coworkers and me, and they are genuinely interested in seeing me pay for graduate school - so much so…

One evening, my girlfriend and I went to a chain restaurant before heading to the movies.

Celebrity Edition!

The last story was very sweet (Yay, decent human beings getting great service/great tips! Yay, racist assholes getting nothing but fire and brimstone!), but I gotta say, I'm a little bit in love with chivalrous beer pong dudebro.

I've never served, but I did work in sales at a home improvement store for a bit...

When I saw "Truly Great Customers" in true Kitchenette style I was expecting to hear tales of the truly depraved... however what I got was 4 heartwarming tales of human decency.

I was the go-to cigarette hider in school- could hide an entire pack of 40 in my bra.

WHAT? How am I supposed to trust the person who makes my coffee if they have small visible tattoos?! You know how much of an impact that makes on the quality of my venti non-fat extra chocolate mochachino with whip?! SO MUCH OF AN IMPACT, KELLY! It ruins everything.

Ha I don't think that's a bad thing!

Oh God, I have decided to leave this off my site as I can't find a fairytale way of saying