It doesn't bother me if someone helps me when I need it; it DOES bother me when I'm picking something up and have shown no signs whatsoever of needing help, because that's acting on the presumption that I'm weak because I'm a woman.

This is weird, because I totally 100% understand and agree with the reasons why calling a woman you don't know a term of endearment is not OK. . .but I almost always like it when it happens to me. A (cute) bartender kept calling me 'doll' the other night and it almost melted me in half. My landlord calls me 'babe' in…

I was gonna add that work situations may be different, in which case it would be fine to say "what is this? need to be careful with my internet history at work". It's just the blanket asking 'what is this' instead of clicking that seems a little unnecessary to me.

As to why it's rude; I dunno, it just seems unnecessary. I've actually never had someone ask what a link is that I just sent them but I'm pretty sure I would reply "click the darn link dummy!"

I've never gotten a spam link that wasn't really obvious, like accompanied by "HA HA HA LOOK AT THESE PIX OF YOU OMG" or some similar spammy language that none of my friends use, I guess? Does that really happen to you often?

Also- totally easy to erase things from your history.

What sort of links do you get that you don't want showing up in your internet history, unless they're NSFW in which case the person's being rude if they don't warn you?

I feel like it's an etiquette fail if someone sends you something loud or NSFW without warning. . .but it's also a bit annoying to respond 'what is this' to a link. MOST links are going to be inoffensive, and it only takes two seconds to see what it is- that doesn't mean you have to watch or read it all.

It doesn't say you have to watch the whole video or read the whole article, just click the link to find out what it is and if you don't have time for it say 'oh I don't have time right now I'll check this out later'. The rude thing is asking what the link is instead of just clicking the darn thing and finding out.

Ok, I've been meaning to ask this: Are there people reading this who routinely disappear from conversations, re-appearing hours later? WHY? Why do you not just say 'brb' or 'biab' or 'gotta run'? I feel like I've missed something major about online etiquette that makes it OK (though not according to this). Explain?

I have been sort of wondering though- is the anti-choice movement totally rallying around them and sending in donations and generally celebrating this bullshit? They might not actually feel *that* bad about it, if they're simply aligning themselves with that side of the field.

Haha, I assume I am one of the people you're 'Lol'ing' at because I'm that exact type? I pay my own way on dates. If a guy wants to pay because he's being sweet, I'll let him and I'll insist on buying him dinner the next time. If a guy wants to pay because "I'm the man and men are supposed to pay", that's a…

Not particularly! As long as we're trading non-sequitur questions, is there a lemur on your head?

Well it seems like you are a dedicated troll, since you comment a lot, but a troll nonetheless. Why on earth would someone who puts "egalitarian" in quotes and assumes that only young attractive white women are interested in equality comment on a feminist website, other than trolling? You're lost at best.

Hmmm, well I'm in NYC so I think that likely has something to do with it as a general trend. No way to explain your particular FWB, though. And you should totally put that in your profile :)

Giving someone company when being alone makes them feel unsafe, or helping them lift something they are physically unable to lift isn't 'not egalitarian' it's 'the way people who are nice to each other treat each other'. And I find it really hard to believe that many people who pay for their own dinner wouldn't also…

Might be a regional thing, I've never had a guy view it as a turnoff if I want to pay. I've had guys insist on buying me dinner, but only after clarifying that they just want to do something nice for me and not because they're too macho to deal with me paying. With my ex, this occasionally led to a debate that…

Yep, I figured this out when my boyfriend broke up with me because his timeline for marriage and kids is "theoretically several years ago" and mine is "in ten years ish, maybe". Nice to see it confirmed that he wasn't just coming up with a nicer way to tell me my ass is too fat.

YES. The Sunday Styles section and the Real Estate section are great for this.

. . .except that's incorrect. She's listed as Beauty and Health editor right here: [www.xojane.com] it says 'more beauty than health to be honest' but she's still theoretically the Health Editor, and that is still really screwed up.