I know it's wrong. . .but when it comes to Christie the phrase "that fat fuck" just really rolls off the tongue. It's not OK even if the emphasis is on the 'fuck'? Argh. It's not. OK.

WHY DID YOU NOT POST THIS LAST WEEK!- when I unwittingly became the star of a terrible rom-com about a career lady who wants to have it all?

My dad's always kept quiet about his hippie days, but his brother, not so much. This led to my cousin happily regailing us at Thanksgiving Dinner with a tale of how back in high school Grandma found my dad's bong and my uncle convinced her it was an African flute. My dad was not pleased. I sure was!

Zone A Brooklyn evacuee here. Went to my parents' upstate. I would just like to say that the next person I hear say "I'M A LIFE LONG NEW YORKER I'M NOT AFRAID OF NO HURRICANE" is getting punched in the mouth. Have you lived here since 1938, the last time we actually had a massive hurricane here? THEN SHUT UP.

Zone A Brooklyn evacuee here. Went to my parents' upstate. I would just like to say that the next person I hear say "I'M A LIFE LONG NEW YORKER I'M NOT AFRAID OF NO HURRICANE" is getting punched in the mouth. Have you lived here since 1938, the last time we actually had a massive hurricane here? THEN SHUT UP.

I think she meant people who know you REALLY REALLY well. Like people who are so close to you they'd never question for a second whether you wanted to hang out with them. If there's any ambiguity or you're good friends but not besty-besties you should go with the "oh sorry I forgot I made an appointment to get my…

He gave her his card. If I were going to anonymously insult someone I'd be damn sure not to leave them any way to contact me or publicly embarrass me as a result.

So can the next fad diet book be "Rich People Don't Get Fat?"

Dude, he didn't just say he liked cats, he ADOPTED a cat. Big difference.

Last year my wallet fell out of my pocket in a bar bathroom. I noticed before the guy went in after me came out, but when I went back in it was gone. I was drunk enough to confront him and even made him turn out his pockets, but he had clearly handed it off to one of his buddies. Asshole.

Oh, this is bringing back memories. See, I've never been under the impression that breastfeeding was easy, because when I was a kid my mom was a leader with her La Leche League group (breastfeeding advocacy and support group). The support line was the same as our home phone, so I would often pick up the phone to some…

Um. . .is this not just sort of saying that if you like the person you're getting married to a lot, you'll stay married? Thank you, Dr. Obvious!

I was one of the few people in my graduating class lucky enough to get a job right out of undergrad. Almost everyone else decided to stay in school to wait out the economy. I've been pretty damn pleased with myself about it, except another friend of mine who got a job right out recently mentioned that he's thinking of…

I'm sorry, but all I can think about when I see articles about this, and the list of shows to be included, is "WHAT ABOUT PETE AND PETE"?????

While I do think these online dating studies are interesting, I really think the only 100% accurate conclusion one (and by by 'one I mean 'me', during the year I spent on OKcupid') that can be drawn is this: Everyone Is Insane.

MAN-DEODORANT RELATED TANGENT. So I've developed a theory that Old Spice is not in fact meant to neutralize man-sweat, but simply to sort of smell good when combined with it. I put on boyfriend's Old Spice the other day, because I didn't have my deodorant and stank of boyfriend-sweat, and the result was. . .nothing.…

I'm sort of baffled as to why the author is being so snarky about Emma Watson. She helped with the ad a bit and was proud of herself for it. I don't see that anything she said was so ridiculous or egotistical.

I was being open minded through the anatomical difficulties, I swear. I know it's a bother sometimes if you're going to cause someone pain during sex. But really, you hate your huge dong because you don't have enough opportunities to brag about it???

I am still pretty fucking proud of being unanimously voted "Most Likely to Start a Revolution" (they listed the runnerups in each category when they announced the winners and there were none for mine). I doubt most people meant it as a compliment, but hey!

Also: New York's male population is constantly on the lookout for Viable Vagina, are they? I would put $5 on smileyboy being gay, dear.