This is an interesting thing I've noticed that I believe is related: I've only recently discovered the notion of enthusiastic consent, which gave me the ability to recognize some experiences I've had where I submitted to sex that I didn't really want (never an assault situation, just not knowing how to communicate my…

Some people are really, really shy about their bodies and I think we should be accepting of that. But yeah, I wouldn't reccomend it to anyone who doesn't REALLY need to.

People who go way over the time limit on the machines when people are waiting inspire a very special rage within me. I just sit there staring daggers thinking "WHYWHYWHY WILL YOU NOT STOP RUNNING I HATE YOU SO MUCH".

I agree with that, overall. The nakedness thing only becomes awkward for me when someone is just striding around the locker room 100% butt naked (not even next to their locker, just wandering around). At that point, it's just like. . .dude, there is no way for me not to be looking at your vag right now and I would…

Oh lordy. I'm not going to tell the whole story, but it culminated with the two of us TOTALLY wasted, trying to find our tent in the middle of the woods in a thunderstorm, him butt naked and weeping uncontrollably.

It's like not going on vacation in a certain state because you have unpaid parking tickets there. . .except for war crimes.

@Cimorene: My main concern is how it translates outside the realm of gender and sexuality studies, though; that someone who isn't already inclined to accept a trans identity as real will hear "identifies as" and interpret it as "isn't really".

@teebear: "People who choose to criticize you are attacking the window dressing - not the foundations of the house." That's an awesome way to put why I've been hesitant, and why based on all these responses I'm definitely not going to call myself queer. Thanks :).

@Cimorene: Thank you! You basically just summed up everything that's gone through my mind about this, and helped me towards a conclusion. Which is that since I strongly identify as a woman, my focus shouldn't be on defining myself within a community of non-conformers but actively challenging the perception that my…

@Elf-ity: Yeah. . .based on everyone's responses here and most of what I've been thinking I think I'll steer clear of the term. I guess I'm just interested in exploring what gives me that sense of relief around queer people- what is it that's making me UNcomfortable around people with traditional views of gender? But…

@Bonnie St. Clair: I would definitely say "queer heterosexual" if I said it at all, which I don't think I will. When it comes down to it being uncomfortable with gender norms is something everyone experiences on some level, so I don't need to use a different word to describe my experience of it when I'm not actually…

@Alibelle: Well, I would definitely specify 'queer heterosexual', not just throw the queer out there, but even so I don't think I will. I was mostly interested if there's anyone who does make that choice and why. . .but everyone's answers as to why not are more compelling than anything I could imagine in favor.

@Monotreme Extraordinaire: Yeah, that's definitely why I'm hesitant/probably won't ever call myself queer. I guess I'm just interested in exploring what gives me that sense of relief around queer people- what is it that's making me UNcomfortable around people with traditional views of gender? But that doesn't…

I have another question about queer stuff, as long as I'm at it. Is there anyone on here who's cisgender and straight but also identifies as queer?

@LutherNipperkin: Definitely! I do not recommend asking "What are you", haha. I'm not questioning ALL use of 'identify', just whether it's overused, I guess.

@LutherNipperkin: Haha, if you were talking out your ass this wouldn't be an interesting discussion! There is a lot to be said for that. . .and it may be fine to use that language as long as you're taking the next step to explain why the way someone identifies is what they are. If the conversation is something like…

@Alibelle: That makes a lot of sense to me. I think the reason I'm thrown off by it is that I have a close friend who's fully transitioned and only a few people know he's trans, so someone saying 'he identifies as male' rather than 'he's male' would probably offend him. But saying 'identifies as' in a case that's less…

@Monotreme Extraordinaire: Good point; the absolute most important thing is calling people whatever they want to be called, whether I have questions about why or not.

@Cimorene: That way of using it totally makes sense to me, I think I actually use it the same way. My confusion arises more from people who use it for EVERYTHING relating to gender and identity, always. Like recently I made a comment to a friend that highlighted my straightness (I don't remember, something about which…

@LutherNipperkin: The second part of that makes a lot of sense to me, but the first. . .I feel like the people who would say 'no that's a woman' are almost being catered to when we say 'identifies as'. . .like placing a qualifier on the identity legitimizes their denial of it, if that makes sense.