so if i’m getting this right,

Well, you do have to forgive him for wanting to watch all that Baseball and Basketball. I mean, the Knicks, the Mets...he just likes hanging out with other folk that haven’t done anything worthwhile since 1973.

Woody Allen and Bill Cosby stories in the same morning? And on a Friday no less? What did we do to deserve this? :(

Ohh NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I am screaming in my head right now. Holy man, that must have been an interesting one to talk yourself out of.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I just sent this in but I am a grey and it probably won’t get read. In negotiations for a three-some with my current male lover we had a plan whereby I was having a promising third man (who is bi) over. I was to warm him up to the idea and then invite lover #1 over. I wrote: “He is adorable. I can’t wait to have you…

Me: Happy birthday! Hope you have a wonderful day!

...Actually kind of proud of this? For me, it’s sort of like I’m 2 and I just shit in the toilet for the first time, and I want everyone to see and be proud of me.

does OKCupid count?

if so there’s this one...

I texted my husband a picture of my boobs when he was out of town once. He texted back a long response about the “dangers of the cloud.”

ilysmrn

Not grim per se but really embarrassing. The very first sext I ever sent was also the very first text I ever sent. Yeah, I refused to get a cell phone for years and then caved and got one. I thought I had it all figured out, hammered out “I’m horny” and hit send to who I thought was my husband. Turns out it was sent…

“Hey man

“My ass misses you.” Yep. I sent that.

Settling in for this post like the creeper I am.

Ugh I’ve never regretting deleting my ex’s (for lack of a better descriptor) texts until this moment right here. He was a dirty old man, more than 20 years my senior, and some of the things he thought qualified as “sexy talk” were just awful and also wonderful(ly hilarious).

“I want to push your head down really hard while you give me head”

Anything that began “If I was single, I would....”

Mr. Dr. Yoga Nerd MD got really drunk with his friends in like the first month we were dating and texted me something like “I wanna fuck you in high heel black boots”