Oh no…I was apologizing for introducing an immature and irrelevant strain of ad hominem insult to the thread.

OK OK, now that I'm not posting under the influence, I owe you an apology, Pooper-Scooper. My swipe at your manhood vis a vis the state of your hair was unjustified and immature. I'm sorry.

Let me use small words so you will understand:

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! If you have moderator privileges on AV Club, Idiotking, then ban away. Please. I'd never be a member of any club you're in charge of anyway.

Uh, lets see: point 1: I am anti-Dan Savage. Refuted by my claim to have been reading his column religiously since at least 1994. Point 2: I assumed to know what "this group" will think. Nope, I never assume any group will think monolithically on any subject.

Right…dont know much about it. Tell me, Wafflicious, where were you when Savage Love was only published in the print edition of the San Francisco Weekly? I'll tell you where I was: living in the Golden Gate Park panhandle, grabbing every new issue that came out, mostly so I could read Dan serving up straight wisdom.…

So soon you forget, Idiotking. I have been reading Savage Love since it was a byline in the (print only!!!) SF Weekly and we greeted him by "Hey, Faggot…" Not to mention Slouching towards Gomorrah and everything else He's ever written. If I was president, Dan Savage would be my secretary of Health and Human Services.…

You may be straight, white, and chromosomally male, but if you're fretting over the state of your pubes, you're a long way from being a man. It actually explains a lot of your comment below regarding your inherent privilege.

I'd love to hear what the chattersphere would say about a guy who, "just once", and "regretted it", slapped his girlfriend. I suspect it wouldn't be quite so forgiving.

Good news is: You have control over all those things! It ain't cancer, or a meteorite about to smash into the earth, just a set of learned behaviors and habits. Grab those reins, buddy, and ride that horse to Success City. I'd recommend a 3 month crash course of daily exercise, celibacy, and sobriety. It'll totally…

Dear Idiotking: I am dumping you because of a verified track record, by your own admission, of nailing nasty skank dudes in random motel rooms, while they smoke meth and you struggle to cum. You have also intimated difficulties with your professional life, housing situation, and other important indicators of quality…

The big reveal: Dumpees who go on to later success dont need feedback, they have the confidence that they are doing the right thing. If someone breaks it off, then it wasnt right FOR THEM.

No asking. It invites failure. Make it a statement. "Let's go out sometime." You still might be shot down, but if I had to apply a statistical analysis to it, id say your chances go up 5-10% at getting the date. If youre an awkward jackass at THAT point, then theres no saving you.

Only if you flinch. Throw it down with 110% on the reactor, and keep on ballin, you'll be in there like swimwear.

WTF…when did every gay sex question have to become a how-to on subverting plain old vanilla sex and commitment?

Funny that YOU call HIM "human garbage".

Seriously. Last time I checked, most people had a gender preference, and it almost always corresponds to their public expression of said gender. So…..call them he or she.

It's insensitive to promulgate this absurd meta-victimization of anyone who has any defining characteristics as a human: gender, skin color, religion, orientation.

Jesus H Christ, man. If it didnt work, it didnt work. The only way you are going to feel better is by nailing some new pussy, hopefully soon. So DONT go playing video games and staying in on Friday night, for gods sake. Get out there, make some rash decisions, and get to work on meeting your next future ex-girlfriend.

There are more lines to read between here, kids, and it's not terribly subtle "I credit him with giving me a good life and helping me pursue goals"