There are more than a few days a month on which everything I’m wearing save shoes (which are Ecco, the Volvo of footwear) was purchased at Costco. I’m such a basic bitch when it comes to clothing.

I’m just glad that there’s a story about the Girl Scouts that doesn’t involve a conservative nutbag damning those adorable, young girls to hell. I’m glad that they had fun.

Jenna Fischer just broke my heart.

Suddenly, my favorite picture is relevant again.

Needs way more stars

Goddammit, I was so fired up that I lost my burner key AND realized that this post makes me look like I don’t understand how primaries work. I’m referring to voting in the general.

We must bring Jon Stewart back by fiat.

Self-Proclaimed Democrats / Progressives, get your shit together now. Like, NOW.

So you are basically saying he is Donald Trump!

You live forever, you start to get bored with the normal stuff.

Crustacean porn.

What the fuck did I just read?

What lie? This pamphlet right here notes that there is a 95.7% chance your penis will fall off if you use ED meds. Pamphlets don't lie!

Why can’t men accept impotence as what it so very clearly is? God’s will for them.

I follow “Moms demand action for gun sense in America” and “The Brady Campaign” on Facebook. Those pages post about every toddler and youth shooting. This is a common occurrence, very very common.

The grandfather had left the loaded gun on the nightstand not knowing his grandchildren were coming over that day, he said.

Will this never cease to be the truth??

Exactly. Vacation fling. We’ve all been there.

“Assault” is the correct term for hitting someone with a fucking hockey stick.