Mark Shrayber Occasionally Utilized Hyperbole in his Headlines - But What Happened Next Will Blow Your Mind....

That's because he was talking to Thomas Crapper.

They are such bastards about RSVPing. Really. And then they show up all last minute like "can I get the chicken?"

Do they follow you from one side of the room to the other, like eyes in a spooky portrait painting?

Here is a tiny jellyfish!

Feminists secretly love him? Really? I guess I missed the boat on that one. It also doesn't seem all that traditional to live off your wife's earnings.

There's this movie theater near where I live that shows themed double features most nights. One night, a friend and I went for a bill of Terminator 2 and Total Recall.

Do you wear sunscreen everyday?

barf, yo. gross.

Count Jacques Rogge is no longer president of the IOC. That letter seems fake.

I also occasionally see rats humping and/or hobos peeing in the alley behind my office, so ... observe nature?

I was mentioned by name in a suicide note by a boy I'd turned down. While I feel badly for his death, I do not, cannot and WILL NOT take blame for his actions because I refused to date him. I am so sick of this idea that men are owed a date/kiss/blowjob/anything just because they want it. Nobody owes anybody…

"Everybody loves this girl." Okay, I understand we are trying to establish this young woman's innocence, but am I the only person bothered by statements like this? The girl does not have to be a perfect angel to have a right to refuse someone. This plays into the idea that women can be rightfully demonized if they are…

Probably because she's not sorry.

Fat girl PhD student with all the stress here who says be whatever weight you want but get some greens up in that diet! You'll feel ten times better! Not about weight, just about healthy poops and energy and the like!

I really like this for a lot of reasons. It's very much like the moment a photojournalist would work his or her whole life to capture. The people in the background plus his overjoyed expression, the fact that he was doing it to let his wife know he was OK—tt's all just so overwhelming and emotional.

How bout a "So you've just procreated, have you considered cheating on your partner yet?" button.

This person needs to quit his or her job and come work with me. I am (essentially) a professional ass-wiper and I have a cavalcade of ass-wiping ditties. The greatest hits are "Tangled Up In Poo," "Oh Danny boy, the wipes the wipes are calling" (when the wipee is named Danny), and the holiday classic "Let's Wipe Your…

This is like the only post ever where this would be an appropriate comment.

You've made it clear on multiple threads that you don't believe the LW, despite being told by numerous people that it's not an uncommon occurence.