Another reason why Jalopnik should hire me as a professional shitposter.

Wow, what a SMOKING deal!

Take a star, you clever bastard.

Do I have to pay for a whole seat if I’m only going to need the edge?

I’ve seen this behavior before. And it saddens me. But I know what needs to be done. He’s not gonna like it, but he needs to go lay in his bed and close his eyes for a few minutes.

He’s like the Sean Spicer of the NBA.

“Change it!”

Madden has ruined football games for a lot of gamers out there. Sorry boys

Falcon fan here - Even if the Falcons could play themselves in the Super Bowl, they would have still found a way to choke it away to another team anyway.

Welcome to the Master Race Land, we got Mountain Dew Rivers, Taco Trees and  Corona fountains. From now on, your hair will blow in the wind EVEN WHEN THERE’S NO WIND.

Its definitely a looker for sure. I’m just wondering will any of us actually ever see one on the road. I wish more automakers designed cars that looked like this though. We are going into the second decade of the 21st century. Wheres the cars that look futuristic like in the movies? I know federal safety regs blah…

Looks damned good despite being photographed with a potato.

Eh, I disagree. Most months usually have something halfway intriguing. Not long ago, they gave away Sleeping Dogs, just as an example.

I think it says you’re focused on the right things and not feverishly masturbating

Sex joke. I like it!

Boaty Mc Boatface? Your 377 cars are now ready for collection…

Who’s judging who in this picture?

$1 for 1, $2 for 2, surge pricing may apply.

How long till we start renting out our toilets?

How much for the toilet? I only need a 1.