I loved this book and the movie, but this TV show scares me. It sounds like it’s going to be all of the same things I’ve grown to hate about The Walking Dead. I don’t want to watch a dragged-out, nighttime soap opera masquerading as horror. I like monster movies and the supernatural, but not so much when the humans…

Yes! Stop objectifying us!

This. I stopped watching after Season 5, partly because one of my biggest pet peeves is zombie movies and TV shows where the writers feel compelled to make other humans the enemy. I tuned-in to watch zombies kill humans, not to watch a nighttime soap-opera set on a post-apocalyptic camping trip. Matters are further…

I’ll just keep throwing my money down on this garbage. Why not? It’s a franchise on its third incarnation in only 15 years. That’s gotta be good, right?

I gave up in the middle of season 5.

I drive a a beautifully clean SUV in “Limited” trim. It always smells nice and there’s never any garbage in it. I get it washed twice a month at one of those nice car washes where they hand wipe it, inside and out. I open doors and the hatch for my passengers. I help them carry their bags.

I make BARELY more than…

He ruined the whole video by slamming and slapping that first tape into the machine. Who does that?

I won’t be watching because CBS All Access is a pay service.

It’s not Tom Brady 2. It’s Tom Brady number 2.

My Places for Google Maps. I used to be able to look up any place on Google Earth (it didn’t have to be an address), pin it, then import those pins to Google Maps and navigate to them in my car. Google took away the functionality a couple years back, and I had to go buy a Garmin.

YOU need to chill the fuck out. You attribute photos to their photographers, not to the fucking people who share them. Rolling Stone is responsible for creating the photo, she attributed the photo to Rolling Stone, correctly. Barring an unnecessarily long attribution explanation “This photo is from Rolling Stone but…

Rachel Dolezal checking in.

Don’t be a dick. You accused her of blurring something she didn’t blur, so now you’re gonna change the subject to being a question of attribution. You were wrong. Fuck off now.

Not until they start making them look like REGULAR FUCKING CARS. Why do they have to make hybrids and electrics look so goddamn retarded?

Nah, you troll him, troll him, troll him, until his thin little skin blisters and eventually he will say or do something that even his willfully ignorant supporters can’t overlook.

I’m like a chainsaw
I’ll skin your ass raw
and if my day keeps going this way I just might
BREAK YOUR FUCKING FACE TONIGHT

I’ve always wanted to see this movie: Aliens make first contact by landing on Earth in their spaceship, but instead of landing on the White House lawn, or floating around the globe in a massive armada, they choose to land with a single ship in a totalitarian country controlled by a corrupt military strongman.

It’s because of the three-act structure most popular stories follow, including film. It’s the structure at the top of the list: Premise, struggle, resolution.