I drive a a beautifully clean SUV in “Limited” trim. It always smells nice and there’s never any garbage in it. I get it washed twice a month at one of those nice car washes where they hand wipe it, inside and out. I open doors and the hatch for my passengers. I help them carry their bags.

I make BARELY more than…

It’s not Tom Brady 2. It’s Tom Brady number 2.

My Places for Google Maps. I used to be able to look up any place on Google Earth (it didn’t have to be an address), pin it, then import those pins to Google Maps and navigate to them in my car. Google took away the functionality a couple years back, and I had to go buy a Garmin.

YOU need to chill the fuck out. You attribute photos to their photographers, not to the fucking people who share them. Rolling Stone is responsible for creating the photo, she attributed the photo to Rolling Stone, correctly. Barring an unnecessarily long attribution explanation “This photo is from Rolling Stone but…

Rachel Dolezal checking in.

Don’t be a dick. You accused her of blurring something she didn’t blur, so now you’re gonna change the subject to being a question of attribution. You were wrong. Fuck off now.

Not until they start making them look like REGULAR FUCKING CARS. Why do they have to make hybrids and electrics look so goddamn retarded?

I’m like a chainsaw
I’ll skin your ass raw
and if my day keeps going this way I just might
BREAK YOUR FUCKING FACE TONIGHT

3 Doors Down are from a tiny town in Mississippi, so no surprise there.

I once worked for a nationally syndicated radio talk show host who couldn’t (I mean, under any circumstances, COULD NOT, no matter how many times we reminded him) remember that Mario Cuomo was dead. Every single time he came up in conversation, he referred to Andrew Cuomo as Mario Cuomo.

So, it’s “meat”, it’s a 1.5 ounce bar (a Snickers is 2 ounces) and it costs $2?

So, it’s “meat”, it’s a 1.5 ounce bar (a Snickers is 2 ounces) and it costs $2?

If it ever goes into production, it won’t have the glass panels low on the doors. It won’t have the beautiful body lines if it has those sliding doors because they’ll cheap out and put the ugly slide-channel on the side. It won’t have that inexplicable Knight Rider-style steering wheel, because it would be annoying to…

In other news, there’s a World Darts Championship.

The photo on the boat looks like A) Wu Tang album art or B) a DVD sleeve promo shot for a gay porn. “Twinks in da Hood” anyone?

Good gracious, ass is frozacious.

And Uber could fix that problem simply by raising rates. I drove for Uber (two years, over a thousand trips) but decided I didn’t want to do the late-night bar rush because the hassle isn’t fun. So I started driving days and weekends only, only to find it’s a total waste of time. I regularly lost money on fares, and…

The right claims National ID is an invasion of privacy. Just one more way for BIG GOVERNMENT to keep tabs on you. In the past, when National IDs have been proposed, THE RIGHT has been primarily against it. The unspoken motivation for opposing it is, if we had a National ID, there would be no more justification for…

But if we get a national ID, how will Republicans prevent people from voting?

A lake or a pond is one thing, but where I’m from, a lot of dumbasses drown when they fall through the ice on not-quite-solid rivers. You fall through and the current drags you under the ice before you can get out the hole you created when you fell in.

I owned a little shitbox just like that. Actually made by Kia, had over 200,000 miles on it, a hole in the valve cover the size of a silver dollar, a heater core that was permanently plugged, and ran like the wind.