The most metal of ages.

Modern camping equipment isn't very metal.

I've always wanted to get suspended. Seems like a fun time.

Waffles and Spaghetti? How the F am I supposed to gerk off to that mess?

They can sell it, but I want to know how much it's worth.

Has he paid his dues? Sure, the check is in the mail.

Kurt Russell isn't as spry as he used to be.

Hitler is the easy one. I'd rather go to Sarajevo in 1914 and challenge Princip to a drinking contest. Like, if he didn't go for it, I could still get drunk and puke on him or something as the motorcade came around. Like… taking WWI out of the timeline, that's some wildcard shit right there.

Taft was no peach, but I can chalk that up to 'it was a different time'.

He's from Jamaica!!! Where's the birth certificate?

Or, gut the inside and fill it with a water substation.

It's the fucking worst.

Be polite, chicklehead.

That's not crazy. I'd be all in on a quick 2 minute behind the scenes thing too.

Ogdenville and North Haverbrook too.

Depending on the crowd… maybe the Divergent movie? I'm not sure if the timing adds up, and I don't care.

The real secret is, skip Voodoo and Blue Star, hop on a Greyhound bus for 78 hours until you're at the Outer Banks of North Carolina, and get Duck Donuts instead.

Ah… don't forget about PBR and the Ferris wheel.

Jesus… It's been so long since I've seen 'food TV'… I had forgotten its particular rhythms and vernacular.

I recall it being several years ago, around the time the term was entering into overuse. He's a great dude… but also 'that' type of dude.