I am wondering what else the doctor tried before he settled on “Jenny McCarthy’s half-brother with bad shirts.” But I have to figure he knew he hit it out of the ballpark the second he landed on this one.

It was explicitly stated that the FO cruisers could keep pace but not catch up. It was said out loud. Maybe you missed that.

“BB-8, sorry to do this little buddy, but....well...your kind replaceable. You can calculate hyperspace jumps...that’s kinda your main purpose. So give us about 20 minutes, then hyperspace this piece of shit into that big-ass First Order ship. We’re gonna bounce and regroup later. Thanks, bud! I’ll make sure you get a…

I actually do - the problem posed in this series of articles on the hurricane related deaths in Puerto Rico is the suggestion that some method exists that would prevent the loss, heavily implied, of any life, and the only reason that wasn’t used and isn’t planned for is because of a conspiracy to under represent those…

My son is 3 and when we give him tablet time (I’m a shitty dad), he quickly learned to hit the little x’s on the pop up ads. He’ll shout “I saw the tiny x!” He doesn’t even notice they are ads. Makes me proud.

I stepped on a garden rake in my garage and got whacked in the head by the handle. It hurt like hell, but the tears were laughter.

EA, why you gotta do this, man. This game is fun. The bones of it are great. The shooting mechanics are on point. It’s fucking gorgeous. It absolutely nails the Star Wars feel and atmosphere. It’s packed with content. It’s vastly improved over the first one. You’ve got everything you need to make this a fantastic…

To put it more compactly: if you change Obamacare’s name to Trumpcare but leave the rest of the program exactly the same, Trump’s poorly informed, cult of personality supporters will immediately reverse course and declare it the best thing ever.

There’s an xkcd for that!

The citizen-experimenter approach is a step backwards. We had that approach before Institutional Review Boards and ethics panels. People who see big pharmaceuticals as the enemy and want to be part of the resistance (and get a few bucks in the process, maybe) will fall prey to small, unregulated companies with nothing…

“If you’re starting a sauce riot because you’re obsessed with a sauce flavor that 90% of R&M fans had never heard of till Rick mentioned it, then you’ve missed the joke and become it.”

Yeah, but you understand why it was limited? Because this was a shitty promo sauce from nineteen years ago that no one cared about until someone made an off hand joke in a cartoon.

If you went to McDonald’s for their nasty-ass chicken nuggets just to get some sauce because a cartoon character raved about it, you are one of the most gullible fools ever. You got played by a cartoon and a mega-corporation.

If you waited in line for hours to get said sauce, you have officially failed at life.

You’re absolutely right. Obamacare is a poor compromise, and in no way superior to universal free health care coverage, something which every industrialized civilized nation currently has, along with reasonable gun control laws.

Charcoal is wonderful, but you know what else is pretty good? Turning a knob, pressing a button, and having a hot grill ten minutes later and then not having to deal with a cauldron of ashes a couple hours after the meal. That’s decent, too.

Because they were never meant to give you value for your money. It was always, always about exclusivity, specifically, keeping out the poor (which often happen to be minorities, but that’s another topic altogether).

My masterpiece is complete!

Listen I’m not a die-hard NBA fan, but I much prefer watching 3 or 4 tremendously talented players on one team play high-caliber basketball for the championship against another similar team to watching 1 all-star on a team with a bunch of scrubs. I’m all for players making as much money as possible, but this seems to…

Um, if it had nothing to do with the city, then why is the T-Rex short for Torontosauras Rex, idiot.

It had bare boobies. In a pre-Internet world, that was all a man really needed. Damn millennial degenerates don’t know how good they have it.