“There are some that hear this is going to be 1,200 miles from Brownsville to El Paso, 30-foot high, and listen, I know you can’t do that.”

winnipeg (yeah i know its hockey, but it fits!)

“And I’ll tell you another thing,” Lynch said, “New Girl might be the best damn show on television.”

Oakland

St. Louis

Houston

Baltimore

Cleveland

if you wanna be a big-time city, I think you gotta hold on to these teams, and once they leave, they aren’t coming back.”

Donald Trump on Twitter:

Because American politicians are greedy, corrupt cunts

Finally, we can get Trump some help.

Right?!? “Only” $275 per scrip, poor-widdle Pharma Execs. How will they survive?

I saw pictures of this event, in which people were wearing T-shirts with a dildo variation of the Gonzales flag. They read “Take It And Come.”

I’ve started just going “I TOTALLY agree” and then stating the opposite opinion. It’s hilarious. People are like “I don’t think you understood me...” and then you can be like “Oh my goodness, you’re so right” and restate your opposite opinion. People have no idea what to do.

Hey, I had no idea you used to be a renowned actor!

I think a strong argument could be made for an “I’m the Oprah of dickage” shirt, too.

Lucky dog... But a cat would have come in between front tires, manage to get inside the cab and exit through passenger side window... All while keeping all of its 9 lives

And you think you had a ruff day.

This is the kind of start I want to have on a Monday morning. But now I just want to go home and hang out with my puppy.