As a crapped-up 51-yr-old, I have some knowledge of those feelings. The day I fell asleep standing up in the shower was the day I started the process of finding out why ... it was 18 months before I got the apnea dx. Even now, with the help of my CPAP at night, I generally come home from work, feed myself, wash my…

Jesus Tap-dancing Christ, if I could give you more stars I would, because this is beyond a nightmare and I am so, so sorry that you are compelled to live with it.

After knee surgery I was in so much pain that I probably violated the no-more-than four-pills rule at least twice a day. Opiods will clog you up something dreadful but I was too stoned, and in too much pain, to care. Finally it occurred to me that I needed to do something and that something refused to be done. I…

Oh god, I remember hanging on to the sides of the toilet as I shat what felt like a 2 liter bottle. After breaking my foot, the fucking painkillers I got clogged me up, but also made me forget that I hadn’t pooped in forevs, so when I finally did realize, oh hey no poop for 7 days, that stool softener didn’t do shit.…

I’m not a regular pooper. I go maybe 2-3 times a week, and it’s not uncommon for me to go a week without taking a shit. I’ve been to the doctor, they say it’s fine but to keep track of how often I go. So for the past 4 years or so, I’ve kept track of my pooping. Maybe a year and a half ago, my boyfriend went to Vegas…

Yeah I think Barry forgets that Mark Shrayber used to work here! God I miss Mark.