I have to admit, I’ve seen a lot of Americans being like “oh where should we go if the country continues to track downhill” and I admit to some horrified fascination with that kind of...ignorance? Because firstly you are the biggest risk factor of introducing COVID into otherwise coping communities overseas?!

I mean the people dying aren’t the careless- they’re the vulnerable ones who got exposed by the careless.

When going to the gym and having a shapely ass is your only life skill you take photos of it. Brands give you money to drape said ass in their products. This is because Robocop was a warning we didn’t listen to.

An influencer is someone who gathers a large number of followers on social media and then monetizes that by posting products/ads. The most successful influencers also make money from attending/speaking at events. People become influencers for a number of reasons—a few actually have skills, like rollerskating or rock…

Influencer, is a polite term for narcissist. Avoid them at all costs.

Hardly anyone is doing better. Europe is back to it’s early 2020 peak numbers, it’s spread unchecked across most of South America, China and India still have massive issues that are covered up and under reported (and yes I know that for a fact because I work online with a person from China and multiple in India). All…

I was offered an all expenses paid to a western European country this fall (there was a professional obligation on my part), but I declined for (1) because I was pretty sure US citizens were going to be on restricted travel because it was clear 45 and his federal government was going to do fuck all to contain this…

My mother is thankfully somewhat aware and agrees with me that the US has done a (purposefully) shameful job containing the virus. However, when I told her “you know, we can’t even leave the country right now because no country will allow us to travel there, places like Canada.” There was a couple of beats where it…

Only seven days? On arrival to the UK I had to quarantine for fourteen days and I wasn’t even allowed to go to the store for food during that time. I had to order groceries to my door.  Sainsbury ruled with an iron trolley.

I’m supposed to be in the middle-east right now BUT YEAH, I am not about to quarantine for two weeks once I get there. I currently live in a US hot spot so I should probably just never leave my house.

“If she didn’t know that everyone else knows the United States is a complete, incompetent mess at this pandemic, she wasn’t paying attention!”

Two thoughts other than the obvious eye rolling this induced:

I was supposed to go to the Middle East before the end of the year. Because the United States is a shit show, we are labeled a high risk country. As soon as I land, the government required me to quarantine for seven days at my own expense where I will be PCR tested twice a day. If I ever test positive, I will be…

Um. Even those states nurses don’t just toss fetuses (chrome doesn’t auto-select fetuses btw) into an inicerator.

In the wee early days of caller ID

Wow, if you’re gonna get caught lying, go BIG.

Totally not the point of the contest submission but appropriate for Jezebel. A Facebook acquaintance shared that awful meme about how Biden wants to kill babies 5 minutes before they’re born. Some woman commented that she is a nurse at an OB office and has had to carry dead aborted fully grown fetuses to the…

My dad read a study that said kids who take up a musical instrument are better at math. So he signed me up for violin. He never told me so when I failed to show up, the orchestra teacher, a strange man I’d never met, got me out of class and told me to come with him. I was terrified.

This isn’t so much being caught in a lie as it is walking right into it.

I had a little emotional breakdown over my art project in third grade and she said she was going to speak with my teacher about how upset I was. Proud and (normally) unemotional, I begged her not to tell the teacher I had been crying. The next morning, my mom handed me a sealed envelope and told me that to give it to…