Right?! A simple “I screwed up, I feel bad about it, and it won’t happen again" would go a long way.

tl;dr: Left to their own devices, most people cook like a 17-year-old boy whose parents just announced that he’ll have to fend for himself for dinner.

Screw it. This still sounds good and my “friends” need to leave anyway.

Really? I was too young to really appreciate Shakespeare in Love when it came out, but I thought it was fairly well-respected. Granted, when I say I was too young, I mean that I was a legal adult but I was more interested in my date than in the movie, so what the hell do I know?

Out of curiosity, what was the other one?

Having a young child severely limits my opportunities to see movies while they’re still in the theater, but it had the secondary effect of making me seriously consider the merits of buying a ticket. I can’t decide whether I’m embarrassed to say this or not, but I’m really only willing to see Disney/Pixar features at…

Possibly? It happens at two Starbucks in particular, but they happen to be the only two Starbucks where I’ve ever ordered in advance. Worth pointing out that the only thing I’ve never gotten right is an unwarmed bagel, presumably because 99% of the people ordering bagels want them toasted. But it is in the list of cust…

As a corollary, I would add that you should only order via the app if you’re not customizing anything. I’d say my track record of the barista properly following customization instructions is about 20%. Yes, you get free stuff if you complain, but on principle I’d rather just have my stuff the way I ordered it.

Please. Patrick Renna is That Kid from The Sandlot. Tom Guiry is The Other Kid from The Sandlot

Let’s face it, you were never that crazy about Amazon Women on the Moon anyway.

I used to think she was Tomi Lahren visiting from a couple of weeks in the future.

Idk about derogatory use; I’m not a fan of the word Sconnie, but it’s always been self-applied when I’ve heard it.

It’s more like a sample of 12 lunatics from those four places... I just thought to ask one of my coworkers who’s a transplant from Chicago, and she also says Illini but that comes with the caveat that she moved from the West Coast to go to school in Chicago, so she probably doesn’t count.

I have a couple of those junk drawers. At least once a year they get organized and I jettison enough of the crap that they look like Nick’s or Melissa’s, but inevitably after a month or two they end up looking like Claire’s. I have no regrets about this; I’ve adopted much better organization systems and given up on…

The people I know who call themselves Illini are from Chicago, Arlington Heights, and Decatur. A couple of the Chicagoans (that’s the word, right?) are connected with UIC, but the rest aren’t University Folk.  I’m sure it started with the University though.

I grew up calling myself a Wisconsinite, but the term Sconnie has been adopted around college towns in the last decade or two. If you’re lucky (or un-, depending on your taste in entertainment) you can see frat boys getting into fist fights over it.

Any idea when that would have changed? I don’t know that I’ve ever noticed a difference in flavor or texture, and I’ve been eating them for at least a couple of decades. It’s not unlikely, though, that my first Braeburns were grown locally.

No love for Braeburn? Braeburn are probably my second favorite eating apple (a phrase I picked up from some British cookbook or other), after Pink Lady. I’ve never had good luck with club apples; at Trader Joe’s I usually buy whichever interesting-looking variety I’ve never heard of before, and it turns out to be…

Look, I don't know what kind of comments you're expecting on this, but it's the end of 2018 and schadenfreude is all I have left.

[L]eave that song in the context where it belongs and get some better fucking music.