Guaranteed Fail.

Okay, but people pay $300K for memberships to his golf course. If I invite you over to my house for Christmas and take a dump on the rug, sure it’s technically still my call, but I’m also a huge dick for doing so.

He still goes home to Kate Upton.

As a Pens fan, I’m going to miss the current tradition of Fleury losing his job every postseason.

It looks like Hedges did indeed give Rizzo a path to the plate. Catchers are sitting ducks...looking at the baseball while a lumberjack barrels full speed towards you.

I can honestly say I have never in my life ever spent one second of my life concerned about someone seeing my butthole during sex. It has never even entered into my mind.

Okay, seriously, this is a Bioware game?

Man, thats gonna be one gorgeous looking boring ass game.

I was really hoping it wouldn’t be another Destiny/Warframe wannabe. Screw multiplayer co-op stuff. I want single player RPG’s. I want some Bioware in my Bioware games!

Somehow this game came to life after 70 dreary minutes, but most importantly, the Fox Sports2 production was awful. As the clips above show, the audio and video were so out of sync that each goal was announced well before the ball found the net. Say what you will about ESPN, but they did a great job with their World…

Are GOAT discussions ELITE debates? Vote now.

Maybe it’s because I have a degree in compsci and math, but I was really hoping this article would end with an actual number (“7 times per month”) based on the headline instead of a big wishy-washy “It depends”

GOAT discussions are really tiresome.

There was once a team that won eight titles in a row.

Pheromosa on that picture looks like, um, nevermind.

I don’t care about KD. I don’t care about Rihanna. Jeff Van Gundy, though? That man is a goddamn delight.

The song has aged like fine wine, but the video looks ridiculous. Except for the part where she’s covered in gold paint, which I love, it’s one of those videos that’s a victim of a technology that was probably revolutionary at the time (the water splashing all over), but now looks like a child drew it with crayons.…

Huma. Honey. He’s not good for you. He’s not good for your son. You haven’t failed, I promise. You are doing what is best for your family. Don’t let him back in.

Lesson for the kids out there: Don’t try to make baseball fun.

A baby bird in the nest that opens its brightly-colored mouth and makes a peep sound will be fed by its parents. It will continue doing this until it is a fully grown bird. Meanwhile, a baby bird that does not do this will starve to death.