THE BEST line ever.

i am still only halfway through this on Storify and I am cackling so hard that I need to stop. I can’t read this at work. It is giving me a fit of the giggles.

preach it! by third trimester, I had Sciatica, I could barely walk from just straight up ACHES in my hips, and I spent most of my time in the bathroom peeing. I even had liver inflammation from all the organs being all pressed up in there. But my kid is pretty cute, so there is my consolation prize.

yes, girl, gimme all the tea on that because I can just tell something ain’t right.

Exactly. A whole store of dolls, ready to strike....

to me, it is creepy as fuck.

please, tell me more about that man in the background with the silky pressed hair.

This story highlights the exact frustration I have had since having my baby. On either side of the fence, baby or no baby, I feel punished no matter what by other women. I feel even more punished by people as a whole after having by baby because well, “you are the one who chose to have kids,” and it makes me sad to…

We can’t trust this dude. He thought Iggy Azalea was a good choice as a protege.

guys, who the fuck is this group? I literally have never heard of this group until like 2 seconds ago. Also, I’m old as fuck so....that might explain it.

I go to the Elkridge one off of 175.

Yeah it might be one of those things where it varies a lot from store to store. I admittedly don’t shop at other ulta’s except for the one nearest me. The problem with the sephora in our mall is that it is always SO packed that I can’t really get any service and the staff is always uber stressed so they are kinda…

No i live in Howard County, so mine is in Elkridge.

The Ulta here where I live in Maryland is well stocked, clean, has great sales, the workers aren’t extremely bitchy, but probably because the customers for the most part aren’t, and that points system is incredible. I once got 150 dollars worth of merchandise for 30 bucks and girrrrrrrllllllll, I was so excited.

no

Hey then awesome! Ain’t no thang to me, she’s still hot!

Im mistaken. They sure are the same. Still hot to me!

a lot of “i’ve never hooked up with a black girl before, is it the same?” type of questions....

YES. I agree. I had an overbite, extra teeth, etc. when i was a kid, and FOR YEARS i went to Baltimore Dental School and I am not even gonna humble brag- my teeth are amazing and they are literally the only thing I like about my face. They are white and finally straight and I like smiling when i’m happy and I think…

Shout out of love to you girl. I have it too and I have to go through EXTREMES to keep weight off and I consistently fail at it. I completely understand your struggle, and so do many other completely non-hateful women- don’t let her steal your joy.