Leave Ron Johnson alone. His comments may have been affected by the fact that he’s quite stupid and that might have factored in.

Take aim at good grades.

Ripper is alive and well and was responsible for the Bowling Green Massacre.

So from a quick skim of the post I gather that Jack the Ripper faked his death and was living on the desert island in the Pacific where Amelia Earhart crashed landed in 1937. Seems plausible to me.

Toxemia (pre-eclampsia) and toxoplasmosis (cat poop) are two different things.

They also gave away their cat on Twitter.

Jawlines should both be shaved and referred to as neck-meets-head lines.

A male feminist walks into a bar

You had me at “Cloppy.”

Yasssss! I found several cringy moments too! Like almost everything seems like a backhanded compliment? Almost like” Yeah! I manned up and showed how pro-woman I am and NOT BASIC by my abnormal partner selection!” And his girl is curvy, but there have been curvy “plus-sized” (I don’t like saying that) models featured…

I think I’ve figured out the code: If you give a guy a boner, you’re “curvy.” If you don’t, you’re “fat.”

Shouldn’t the Biebs have enough money he can comfortably retire? Or like ... change careers? He doesn’t seem to enjoy his very much.

OMG girl. Buy some fucking Spanx.

Maybe he was dead the whole time.

The new standard for a bad week will be “I have had a Mooch of a week.”

Reince should txt him to say, “Congratulations, I’ll pray for your child.”

In regards to playing professional football again, the Raven quoted

So... how do you know when you are having a genuine religious experience and when you are having a psychotic break?

McCain voted for the BCRA, despite pledging a few hours earlier that he would not.