Same reason the deacon hit on the bride and then her married twin sister. Because we’re klassy like that.

LOL! Well, it all depends on who you’re related to!

LOL! The pastor decided (in the middle of it) that he wanted to go play golf. He told us all to get out of the church. One of the deacons said we could stay, just lock up and put the keys through the letter slot when we were done. So we stayed. Then he decides he’s going to stand in for the pastor, comes back, and…

Nah, you’re just bantamweights. My uncle’s rehearsal dinner we all got arrested. And I do mean all. Including the guy standing in for the pastor.

Apparently a last chance to air out the crazy before the binding vows.

Look, I love Adele, and as much as a fan as I am, I’m not in the Beyhive. But, by what standard is 25 a better album than Lemonade? Like, even Adele seemed to legit recognize that that was some bullshit.

Record = song, goes to the artist

I think Record of the Year is awarded for a single track or song from an album but it encompasses all the production. Song of the Year recognizes songwriting only. And then Album of the Year is the whole collection of songs. I think.

Nevertheless, she persisted.

He’s probably going to greet the Australian PM with, “G’day mate!” and a backslap.

I hope that the British royals decline to meet with Trump.

Did you see him trying to pull in Gorsuch? After what 45 did to a U.S. flag on the campaign trail I’d be trying to keep my distance as well.

I’ve got a C-note that says he will never, ever get within 200 feet of Queen Elizabeth and if Prince Philip (WORLD CLASS ASSHOLE) gets a chance, he will break Trump over his knee and spank his ass with three words or less.

I have never been in the Eastern Hemisphere - and even I know the Japanese don’t like excessive eye contact and touching.

I am clumsy, socially awkward and I don’t like touching people but even I have mastered a decent handshake.

You know, when I am meeting with members of our global team, I always take five minutes to Google customs of the country in question. It takes five literal minutes and it helps me avoid looking like a stupid idiot. And I’m just a finance scrub. I’m not the president, and I put more effort into fostering…

Jesus Christ. One tiny upshot to this whole national embarrassment is that I now know, without a doubt, that I am not nearly as socially awkward and embarrassing as I thought I was.

Christ, he’s bad at this. He can’t even shake hands correctly.

Cultural etiquette 101:

Hello. I’m not American. Can someone tell me why America thought it was a good idea to make a functionally illiterate man with severe personality disorders the President of the United States of America?