I AM CRYING MARK OMG OKAY BRB LEMME FINISH

I’ve got my souvenir cups from the last one. Hope to add to my collection!

Turnips don’t deserve that.

I want to place a bet that Barack “No Fucks” Obama smokes a cigarette during his next State of the Union.

Pretty sure his audience was like, “Well that glowing turnip is saying such nice things about Texas! Everything else about it must make sense!”

Circus peanuts are the wrongest thing ever. The only good use I ever found for them : impale vertically on wooden skewers, stick on cake, ignite. They make pretty good little torches, especially if you dribble some whisky on them first.

It’s fine to be wrong, it doesn’t make you a bad person

i’m not really anti CC but this sounds darque and dramatic and i wanna go

i read the first three words of the title and said ‘oh anna’s here’

same, i’m very busy

I’m waiting for the pecan pie M&Ms with bated breath and mild horror but as a general rule of thumb Hersheys chocolate should be buried at a crossroads with a stake through its heart*

Fact: Matt McGorry can get it any day and twice on Sundays.

[Not with her eye]

Hahaha, you’ve never been underaged drunk in NYC at 3am I take it?

Ummm, did you know, in The Sims 3, when you “woo-hoo” in someone elses house, you have a stride of pride for like 3 sim hours? I never knew until I played it recently for the first time in years and lo, did my sim sex it up with everyone.

Is it wrong that all I could think was... ‘It doesn’t seem like a good idea to walk down the street bare footed. What if she steps on a piece of glass? Or a rusty nail? I hope she’s had a tetanus shot!’ This is what having children will do to you.

oh god MM would be the kind of dude to chase you down the street asking why you didn’t leave your number.

OMG! Maybe it’s because I’m day-drinking, or maybe it’s the entire pizza I just ate, but I am loving this SO MUCH right now.

IT IS CALLED THE STRIDE OF PRIDE, AMBER